Focusing Less on Yourself

Good Day Friends,

What a wonderful day that the Lord has made. Let’s rejoice together and be glad in it. There are many days that I feel like “today isn’t worth celebrating” because of all of the things that are currently wrong or things that could go wrong. But then I think about what the author of Hebrews said:

Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed – that exhilarating finish in and with God – he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. -Hebrew 12:2 (emphasis added)

I love this version because it reminds me that Jesus suffered more than I am, yet, he endured because he knew what was at stake if he didn’t – and now he is right alongside God! I don’t know about you, but I want to be right alongside God, too (me and my family). Just chilling with God, Jesus, and all the saints that came before me.

And do you see where it says “and finished”?! That means that the battle has already been won; the enemy has already been defeated on the cross when Jesus said those sweet words, “It is finished!” (John 19:30). We are living our lives because God has given us a choice to do so. Not so we can defeat the enemy. Jesus has already done that.

I love my children endlessly and I will do anything for them, even endure the sufferings of this world, as our brother, Christ Jesus, did for us because our Abba Father asked him too. Not only did God ask him too but Jesus happily obliged because of his love for us is that great.

When God asks us to do something, especially if it’s hard, he always equips us with the tools needed to accomplish the goal, especially emotionally and mental support. He has given us the authority that he gave Jesus to tap into our inheritance of demanding all demonic forces to flee from our minds, our lives, our circumstances, our families, and everything in between.

Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. -Ephesians 6:11

We forget at times that we have that authority. We allow the enemy to get inside our minds and make us forget who we are and whose we are in Christ Jesus.

Repeat After Me

I am a child of God (John 1:12)

I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit (John 15:16)

I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him (Romans 8:17

I am united with the Lord and am one Spirit with him (1 Corinthians 6:17)

I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I am a saint (1 Corinthians 1:2, Ephesians 1:1)

I am righteous and holy (Ephesians 4:24)

I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:4)

I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 Peter 5:8)

One of the greatest ways to fight negative thoughts is to constantly remind yourself who you are in Him. When you focus more on Jesus and less on yourself, he will give you unimaginable strength.

I like to challenge people who do not believe in Jesus to repeat the above scriptures every day for a month straight and tell me that they don’t fell a difference in themselves afterward. You will definitely feel a difference. You will begin to see the fruit of the Spirit. In other words, you will begin to see great things happen in your life and the lives of those around you.

God’s Word is as alive as you and I. It transforms your mind and heart to bear the fruit of the living Spirit – love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23) — I mean, who wouldn’t WANT to live a life filled with all of that? I know I do and I want the people around me to see it in me, too. So then, they will feel inspired to allow the Spirit to lead them.

I pray that you allow the Holy Spirit into your life. I pray that you allow Jesus to transform your mind and heart so you can inspire others to do the same. This world is so broken and hurt and I truly believe in order to change the hearts of others, we have to change the heart within us. I pray God shows His love for you as He wraps His arms around you during your difficult times. I pray that he does exceedingly, abundantly things in your life, more than you have ever imagined. And I pray that He continues to remind you that you don’t have to fight because Jesus won over 2,000 years ago.

Thank you for reading the thoughts and the words of the living Word. If you have any questions about what I spoke about in this post, if you are a new believer and want to know more, or if you aren’t a believer and have questions in general, please feel free to email me at HarotianEssentials@yahoo.com and I would love to share more of the gospel with you. Please remember to pray for one another and I love you all.

September 24, 2018September 21, 2018

Motivation Monday: What is Mania To You?

Hey Friends,

In my last post, Sometimes We’re Not Who We Think We Are, I discussed how I was experiencing a manic episode. It was a proud moment because, since my diagnosis, this is the first time I’ve been able to recognize it and be proactive before I did something I would regret later.

Today, I would like to talk about how I got through it and signs that you may see in your loved ones that they may be struggling with the same illness. Most times, it’s more helpful if you are able to see the signs first and present them with it versus seeing the signs and not saying anything at all.

Related Post: She Must Be Crazy– How to Approach A Loved One Who May Have A Mental Illness

First, let me explain WHAT IS A MANIC EPISODE?

According to Psychology.org, a manic episode is a symptom of Bipolar Disorder in which one experiences “a mood state characterized by a period of at least one week.”

Signs of a Manic Episode

“I’m Totally Fried, Man!”- Feeling wired, jumpy, and more upbeat than normal
“Not So Sleeping” Beauty – You have a decreased need for sleep

3. “Natual Beer Goggles” – You have an exaggerated sense of well being; always in a euphoric state of mind. You feel untouchable

4. “Chatty Cathy” – You are extremely talkative about any and everything. You begin speaking really fast as if you are unable to get your words out fast enough

5. “You Said What Now?” – You are easily distracted. You are unable to stay on one topic or project at a time. You jumped from one thing to another without skipping a beat.

6. “I’m Feelin’ Friskay” – Bluntly put…you feel the need to have sex all of the time; hypersexuality.

Now, the above are just average symptoms. Some people experience all of them, some people experience only some of them. Just to give you an idea, below are the symptoms that I experience.

How did I recognize that I was manic?

I began coming up with “brilliant” ideas that are exaggerated and unreasonable to everyone else
I started to spend money on things that we didn’t need as a family (when normally I am a penny pincher).
I found myself talking really fast about any and everything. I also began shaking while talking (which is new).
I started taking on a bunch of new projects and assignments that in essence, started to become overwhelming. Once one project became overwhelming, I would quit it and start a new one.
I began thinking about things that would destroy my family; I began seeking attention from other people besides my husband (I didn’t act on any, thank you, Jesus).

There are so many ways that you can get through a manic episode because once it is over, you will experience a fall of deep depression. For me, I have to prepare myself and my family for it.

How Do I Get Through A Manic Episode?

I inform my healthcare team – I immediately let my husband know what I was going through and the things I need him to do to support me through it. I involve him because truthfully, I need help with monitoring my behavior. A lot of times, I don’t remember things that I have said or done. So, open communications and complete transparency is necessary.
I DO NOT make any major decision – I relinquish complete control to my husband. I communicate with other people who may ask me to make major decisions. I simply tell them that I am unable to decide at that time. Usually, people are understanding. Use your own decretion on whether or not you want to share why.
I attend support groups in my area – It is important NOT to isolate yourself. When I isolate myself, I convince myself to do all kinds of unhealthy activities. It’s healthy to talk things out around people who understand so they can say, “yea, maybe that’s not such a good idea.”
I prepare yourself for the “deep depression” fall – Everyone is different. For me, when I fall, I fall hard. I isolate. I withdraw. I stop eating. I stop living. Since I know this about myself I prepare by:
1. Communicating with my husband about my needs
2. Set five goals that I will meet per day no matter what. Even if it’s as simple as brushing my teeth and washing my face.
3. Walk outside (even if it’s to the car and back)
4. Not putting pressure on myself to get better.

Bipolar Disorder is real but extremely manageable. If you have it or if you a have a loved one who has it, know that your life isn’t over. I pray that this explanation helps. I will be praying for everyone who is struggling. Please email me at HarotianEssentials@yahoo.com if you have a prayer request for you or your loved one who is struggling or if you just want to talk or have questions.

Thank you for all your time. I love you all and please remember to pray for one another.

“You are not your illness. You have an individual story to tell. You have a name, a history, a personality. Staying yourself is part of the battle.” ~ Julian Seifter

**Pics and Gifs are borrowed from Google**

September 21, 2018September 21, 2018

Funny Friday: Kids Say The Darnedest Things!

Hey Family!

Welcome to Friday AND the first day of Fall! Whoop! Whoop! This is absolutely my favorite time of year for 2 reasons; the beautiful fall weather and it’s my birthday!! Yayyy!

Your girl is turning 33 tomorrow! Holy Moly! I can’t believe it. Oddly enough, I’m just now starting to feel like I’m “adulting”. 😁 I’m in a great place in life and God is AWESOME-SAUCE!

Today’s Funny Friday is brought to you by BoredPanda.com. I hope you enjoy and I pray your weekend is as beautiful as God’s wonderful Fall colors. Love you all and please remember to pray for one another.

September 17, 2018September 21, 2018

Sometimes We’re Not Who We Think We Are

Hey Friends,

A couple of weeks ago, I became aware that I am going through a manic episode. If you are new to my blog, please click here to read my journey of being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I.

On one hand, I’m really proud of myself for not going into complete denial mode but on the other hand, I’m frustrated that I cannot fulfill the wild urges that I’m having. I feel like a caged animal. But, I am aware that if I unleash the bipolar beast, all hell will break loose. Not just for me, but for my family. I’ve come a long way keeping this beast tamed, but every day I wake up, the more I want to release it.

Sometimes it’s hard not to focus on the things that are right in front of you. There are many times I feel as though I put too much emphasis on my illness, but then there are other times I feel as though I don’t put enough thought into it. When I don’t think about my illness, it is easy to be in denial. I begin having thoughts like, “Maybe this is all in my head. Maybe there is no such thing as mental illness. Maybe, just maybe, everyone else is crazy and I’m just living the life that I’m supposed to. Maybe, God made me this way for a reason and society is just trying to tame me to make themselves feel more comfortable.”

Recognizing manic episodes is important to me because I want to do something about it. I don’t want to sit in it. If I could speak bluntly, a lot of people who talk mental illness claim it like it’s apart of their identity. They say things like, “MY mental illness.” I used to do the same, but when you claim something long enough, then it does become apart of you. It’ll attach itself to you like a leach. You’ll become less of you and more of it.

Mental illness is a condition, it is not me. A part of controlling this condition is recognizing when it may be out of my control and understanding that it has the potential to be out of my control. The crazy thoughts above is an example of how my mind can take me down a rabbit hole of more self-doubt and less God.

This condition was birthed out of the womb of this broken world, but we were birthed from the love of God. When God came down from His kingdom, I imagine He got on His hands and knees, grabbed a large clump of wet dirt and began molding us into his perfect image (Ephesians 2:10, Genesis 1:26). Can you imagine God getting dirty just for us? Think about it. He created everything just by speaking it into existence, EXCEPT for us. For us, He got on His hands and knees to mold us, to make us exactly how He wanted us to be and took his wonderful breath and breathed it into us. Praise God. Sidenote: I imagine Gods breath smelled like cinnamon and mint. 🙂

But then Adam and Eve doubted Him and fell into Satans trap. Along with that trap came anger, fear, shame, guilt, and of course mental illness.

Mental illness is not who God made you to be, it is just a result of our broken world. So, decide right now to accept your flaws, but to also accept that God makes no mistakes and He is perfect (Psalm 18:30). Decide to not claim what this fallen world has thrown at you, but instead rejoice in knowing that a perfect God made you to be YOU! Take your addictions, your fears, you flaws, your guilt, your shame, your anger, and your despair to Him. He will comfort you, He will love on you, and He will bless you.

Thank you for reading my thoughts. This post was a long one, but the Holy Spirit needed someone to read this. Love you all and please remember to pray for one another.

He gives power to the weak and strength to the power. -Isaiah 40:29

September 11, 2018September 11, 2018

September Theme: Who Are We To God? Part 2

Hey Friends,

When I was 12 years old, I found out that I had a family in my hometown on my dad’s side of the family. Just to briefly tell you, my dad is what you would call a rolling stone. (If you don’t know what a “rolling stone” is, please refer to The Temptations Papa Was A Rolling Stone.

I am one of the numerous children spread across the country and needless to say my father was never around. He would come to my town and visit once every couple of years. He would stay a few hours and get back on the road as a commercial truck driver. One day, my father called me and told me that his brother and his wife moved to the city I lived in and they wanted to meet me. I was so excited and nervous at the same time.

After I met them, we immediately clicked. My uncle was like the father I always wanted. He was caring, funny, easy to talk to, and only lived 30 minutes from where my mother and I lived. As the years passed, my uncle would express his distaste for how my father treated me. He promised me on numerous occasions that he would never leave me…that he would always be “my dad”. And although I had my reservations, I trusted him.

A few years had gone by and my aunt and uncle decided to get a divorce. My uncle soon after met his current wife and decided to marry her. Then, I didn’t like his new wife, not because of anything she had done, but because she became the new center of his world and I felt extremely neglected. I thought she was taking my uncle away from me and that he would do to me what my biological father had done to me. So I became bitter.

One day, I decided to express my feelings to my uncle. I let him know that I felt like his new wife was becoming more important than me and my young children, and the reasons why I felt that way. Looking back, I can see how I was being a brat. How I was allowing fear of rejection bring up issues from my biological father and how they were interfering with my relationship with my uncle and his new wife.

He then told me that since I didn’t like his new wife, that I could no longer be in his life. And that he was officially disowning me. At that moment, I’ve never felt so rejected and foolish in my life. I was truly heartbroken. I felt foolish because I knew I shouldn’t have believed him when he told me he would never leave like my father did. I thought I should have trusted my instinct and never allowed him into my heart. Again, I have another “father” who didn’t want me. And for what? What was so wrong with me? What did I do so bad to be disowned by, not one, but two fathers?

After this, I said I would never trust another man ever again. And I didn’t. It’s been 13 years and I still have trust issues when it comes to men and the “promises” that they make.

I started to notice that I began to see God as another man that I couldn’t trust. The only difference is, I love God so much and I want to make sure that I do everything I can so that he doesn’t disown me, too. Every time I would mess up, I would beg God for his forgiveness. I would even mumble under my breath, “Lord please don’t abandon me. I can’t lose you, too.”

This showed that I didn’t have a clear understanding of who God is and who I am to God. Why? Because…

God never breaks a promise – God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? Numbers 23:19
God promises to never leave us – So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deut. 31:6
He never changes his mind – Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
God loves us more than we could ever comprehend – But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) Ephesians 2:4-5

Sometimes I still think about the last moment that I had with my uncle. Maybe I could I have said something different. Maybe I could have not said anything at all. I don’t know. I like to believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe one day we could speak to each other again. But until then, I am choosing to rely on the one relationship that I know will never fail, and that is with my Abba Father, my Daddy, my Yahweh, and my Jehovah.

If you have lost a bond or relationship with someone, please know that it will never happen with God. The enemy will try to trick you into believing that you have to be perfect in order for God to love you. But scripture says that God loved you before he even made the world (Ephesians 1:4).

Thank you all for reading my thoughts. I truly appreciate each and every one of you who take the time out to read my mess of a life. I love you, God loves you, and please remember to pray for one another.

“We are saved by how we believe, not by how we behave.” -Neil T. Anderson

September 7, 2018

Funny Friday: How To Tie A Tie

Hey Friends,

Hay, hay it’s Friday! This weekend is exciting because my two little nuggets will be turning 10 and 12 years old. I still can’t believe I’m a mom to a preteen. The past 12 years have gone by so fast. I’m thanking God every day that he has given me the chance to be their mom. All my children are great kids; polite, funny, kind, considerate, warm-hearted…I can go on and on about how wonderful they are. They are truly the reason I’m still alive.

Anywho, let’s get to it. Today’s Funny Friday is brought to you by GreatCleanJokes.com because you know of course this is a Christian, family blog and I have to have clean jokes on here. Although I must confess, I’m always tempted to throw some dirty ones on here every once in a while. I hope you enjoy it.

I pray that each of you enjoys this wonderful weekend. Please remember to pray for one another.

On the day of my big job interview, I woke up late. Frantically I threw on a suit. “OH NO!” I thought. “MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn’t there to help me, and for the life of me I did not know how to tie a tie! I grabbed a tie and ran out the door. “Excuse me sir,” I said to the crossing guard, “I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!” “Sure” said the guard, “just lie down on this bench.” Well if someone was going to help me I wasn’t going to ask any questions. After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down. “Well in my previous job I learned how to tie tie’s on other people when they were lying down. He replied. What was your previous job? I asked incredulously. “I ran a morg.” Was the reply.

September 4, 2018

September Theme: Who Are We To God?

Hey Friends,

This morning, I was thinking about how much we mean to God. Why does he love us so much? Why are we the center of God’s universe?

Did you know that God created us specifically to be with Him?

Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us.” -Genesis 1:26a (emphasis added)

We were made exactly how the Holy Trinity wanted us to be. We were made to be like them. How amazing is that? Did you notice that God said us? Before the beginning of time, God knew exactly how he wanted us to be. This is also why building and maintaining relationships with each other is so important to God.

He loves us so much that he gives us the best gifts a Father can give. He knows the struggles that we face and will always face. He knows that we have an enemy that is constantly after our immortal souls.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the goods things he planned for us long ago. -Ephesians 2:8-10

Our lives aren’t about what we can do for ourselves. Our lives are about how we can serve our Abba Father. God only wants us to pursue a relationship with him. That’s all he has ever wanted from us. And when we mess up, he is always there to forgive us and help us to move forward.

We are not our mistakes. We are not our past. We are the children of God…made in his image, to reign forever with him in heaven.

Thank you, God, for the gift of salvation and righteousness. Thank you for putting us above all else, and loving us despite our flaws. Thank you for sacrificing your son, Jesus Christ, to make sure that we receive what you created us for…to live with you for eternity in heaven.

Thank you all for reading my thoughts today. Right now, it is important to me that I understand who I am to God and why I’m so important to him. Maybe if I understand the love he has for me, then I will have the same love for myself. Please remember to pray for one another. Stay safe.

God bestows His blessings without discrimination. The followers of Jesus are children of God, and they should manifest the family likeness by doing good to all, even to those who deserve the opposite. -F.F. Bruce

**Pics borrowed from google**

September 3, 2018September 3, 2018

Glorious Labor

Happy Labor Day Friends,

Thank you to all of the hard-working people in our country that make it run as smoothly as possible. Everyone from the stay at home moms to CEOs of our favorite grocery shops to the school janitors…THANK YOU! Our social and economic achievements have made us one of the best countries to live in. Despite the bad, we as a country has done great things for our families that I personally will always be grateful for.

Yesterday, I was reading Philippians 3:12b:

“…I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.”

Paul is speaking to us about pursuing the life that Jesus has waiting for us in heaven, here on earth. A Christ-like life that should be a goal that’s pursued, and not a mere moment of achievement.

Celebrating Labor Day is a great way to pat ourselves on the back for being hard-working Americans, but the real celebration starts when we get to heaven to acknowledge the labor we’ve done on Earth for the glory of God.

I pray you all had a wonderful day and I pray that you felt Gods presence in your heart. Please pray for one another. I love you all.

Kicking back is that much sweeter when you’ve earned it. – Caroline Picard

August 30, 2018August 30, 2018

Mania, O How I Miss Thee?

The other night, I was lying in bed and I suddenly began to have thoughts and memories of my longest manic episode. I’ve had flashbacks before, but this one was different. My window was open to allow the cool summer breeze create the most wonderful aroma throughout my bedroom. I could hear the birds singing to each other as if they were making love songs. And the crickets were chirping as if they knew exactly what I was thinking.

Before, I spoke about the crazy things that I did during Mania. How I’ve messed up friendships and put myself in dangerous situations. But there was a side of Mania that will always have my heart.

During a Manic episode, I felt on the top of the world. I’ve never felt more confident then I did during Mania. I had goals and I would stop at nothing to finish them. Since I stayed up 20-21 hours out of the day, I was able to accomplish things on my to-do list. I was funny, outgoing, and very likable.

I was able to make friends easily because I didn’t care what others thought about me. I loved every part of myself, no matter how crude or deranged I came across as being. I never doubted or regretted the choices that I made. I felt I was truly free.

Free from the prison of self-doubt and condemnation. Free from sadness and loneliness. Free from guilt and shame.

It was only until after a manic episode, I could see the destruction I had caused. During an episode, I had Bipolar goggles on; they gave me a warped point of view.

As I was lying in bed, missing Mania and how wonderful it used to feel. I began to realize something even more wonderful…

That my relationship with Jesus gives me the same freedom that Mania gave me. The only difference is with Jesus, I am truly FREE from self-doubt and condemnation (There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. -Romans 8:1).

I am truly FREE from sadness and loneliness (You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. -Col. 2:13)

I am truly FREE from guilt and shame (Now your guilt is removed, and your sins are forgiven. -Isa. 6:7).

Mania deceived me from the very beginning like Satan deceived Adam and Eve.

I have a new life. I am a new me. I’ve come to realize that I don’t have to be Manic to feel special or worthy. I am a child of God. He is my mania. He is my strength and my fortress. He is my Comforter and Healer. He is the great I Am.

Farewell Mania. We’ve had some good, crazy times, but it’s time to let you go.

Thank you all for reading my thoughts. I pray your day is going well and that you are finding the comfort of arms of our wonderful Abba Father. Please remember to pray for one another.

“You are not your illness. You have an individual story to tell. You have a name, a history, a personality. Staying yourself is part of the battle.” ~ Julian Seifter

August 28, 2018August 28, 2018

Are You A Lost Cause?

Hey Friends,

I pray your day is going well. My day is going great! This morning, I was reminded of 1 of God’s many promises.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. -Philippians 1:6

How amazing is our Abba Father? This verse tells me that I am never a lost cause. God will never give up on me. Living in a world where abandonment is apart of most of our life’s stories, God says he will never abandon us. Not only will he never abandon us, but he will continue his good work within us. In order for him to continue his good work, that means he already started it, right?

And since God makes NO mistakes, then that means the good work he is doing in each one of us is leading to perfection, since God is perfect. Wow! I’m getting chills just typing this.

If you ever have doubts about where you are in life, what you are doing or may not be doing, be assured that God is working in your life. He never stops. He will continue his work until we meet Jesus face to face either when he returns or in heaven. Whichever comes first.

Also, know that there is nothing that can separate you from God’s love, so don’t worry about that. I used to think that if I gave up on myself, that God certainly has given up on me. Not the case AT ALL!

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:38-39

Dear brothers and sisters, take comfort in knowing that God will never leave you, nor forsake you. He will continue to do his perfect work in us and there is nothing that we can do to separate us from those promises and his love for us.

Thank you for reading my thoughts today. I pray that each and every one of you is finding comfort in Gods grace and everlasting love. Please remember to pray for one another. In Jesus’ name.

If there be anything that can render the soul calm, dissipate its scruples and dispel its fears, sweeten its sufferings by the anointing of love, impart strength to all its actions, and spread abroad the joy of the Holy Spirit in its countenance and words, it is this simple and childlike repose in the arms of God. -S.D. Gordon

August 27, 2018

This Sucks Memory Lane

Happy Monday Friends,

I pray that you all had a wonderful weekend.

In the past couple of days, I’ve been forced to look deeper into my heart. Satan has been bringing up old, shameful memories through my loved ones, my ex-husband, even certain smells, and tastes. Have you ever been reminded of a shameful act through something as simple as a taste? It’s a little frustrating, to be honest. The enemy will use all sorts of tricks to pull you down the rabbit hole of “This Sucks” memory lane.

It was easy for him to do because for a brief moment, I forgot that I was forgiven for the sins that I had committed and still continue to commit.

From the beginning of time, God knew who I was going to be. He knew the mistakes that I would make and He knew the trials that I had to face. Yet, he created me anyway. think about that. He knew that I would reject Him and His word. Yet, He created me anyway! He loves us that much.

So, although the enemy will try to use my past against me, God already had a plan to use my past to strengthen me.

When Satan tries to take you down “This Sucks” memory lane, tell that fool to leave you alone because focusing on Christ and looking forward will get you further to God’s heart then looking backward. Jesus prayed that we would experience the same glory that God our Father has given him. And that glory has more value than anything this world or the enemy has to offer you.

Father, I want those whom you have given me to be with me where I am. Then they can see all the glory you gave me because you loved me even before the world began! -John 17:24

Thank you all for reading my thoughts. I pray that you all are growing closer to God to achieve the ultimate goal for His glory. I pray that you all experience his gifts of righteousness, grace, and mercy each day that you wake up. I also pray you are able to feel his presence every day, which is literally the best feeling in the world. Please remember to pray for one another. In Jesus name.

If you make the mistake of looking back too much, you aren’t focused enough on the road in front of you. -Brad Paisley

**pics borrowed from google**

August 24, 2018August 24, 2018

Funny Friday: Three Brothers

Hey Friends,

Happy Friday! Please enjoy today’s Funny Friday joke brought to you by Sunny Skyz.com

I pray that you all are having a wonderful start to your weekend. Love you all and please remember to pray for one another.

Three Brothers Age 92, 94 And 96 Live Together

One night the 96-year-old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?”

The 94-year old yells back, “I don’t know, I’ll come up and see.” He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he yells, “Was I going up the stairs or coming down?”

The 92-year-old was sitting at the kitchen table having coffee listening to his brothers. He shakes his head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful.” He knocks on wood for good luck.

He then yells, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”

August 23, 2018August 24, 2018

1,036

Last November, I was in such a dark space. I was physically ill, mentally isolated, and extremely depressed. I so badly wanted to get out of my own head and start a journey of recovery, but I didn’t know where to start. So, I started in the only place I’ve always known where to start; writing.

I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t have a goal of how many followers I wanted to reach or even what I wanted to talk about. I just wanted to write. I wanted a place where I can openly express myself to relieve the pressure of mental discomfort I was facing.

Then, something miraculous happened. You lovely people began to like and follow my page. To my amazement, you all started to actually enjoy what I had to say. Even when it didn’t make much sense.

Every follow I gained, every like that I received gave me goals that I wanted to achieve. I went from blogging once every few weeks, to once every couple of weeks, once a week, to almost every day. Wow!

Now, I log into today and see that I’ve gained over 1,000 followers!

1,036 Followers to be exact!

Thank you all so much! There aren’t enough words in any language to express how grateful I am to each and every one of you.

This number is so important to me because, although some people may not read everything that I write, I know that I have the chance to encourage 1,036 people to get through the difficulties of everyday life. I have the chance to bring 1,036 people to Jesus. I have the ability to share the gospel with 1,036 of God’s people.

What A Blessing!

So, thank you, thank you, thank you to each of you. May God bless you, keep you, comfort you, and grace you with His love.

Thank you all for your continued encouraging words. They have helped me out of some pretty dark times. They have inspired me to continue to do what I love to do best, which has played a large part in my mental wellness.

August 21, 2018August 21, 2018

Do You Have High Self-Worth or High Self-Esteem?

Hello Friends,

Yesterday, I gave an example of how I struggle with self-worth (click HERE). Many people do not realize that there is a difference between self-worth and self-esteem. Self-esteem is how much you THINK you’re worth, while self-worth is what you are ACTUALLY worth.

The world will trick you into believing that self-esteem is more important than self-worth. Self-esteem is measured by what you have financially, economically, socially, and physically. While self-worth is measured by the fact that God sacrificed his only son so that we can be saved from eternal damnation.

Let’s go over the facts…

God created everything (Genesis 1)…

God created man to rule over all creatures of the earth (Genesis 1:26)

God provides food and water for all plants and animals on earth (Psalm 147:8-9) We see proof of this everytime we walk outside and hear birds chirping, leaves blowing in the wind, grass sprouting in our front yards, and sunrise/sunsets.

If he loves even the smallest creatures enough to provide food for them to survive, then can you imagine how much he loves the creatures that he put in charge of said small plants and animals? He even loves those ugly bugs that you see in the seal of your window during the summer months.

It shouldn’t matter what others think of us because the world has a bad habit of lowering our self-esteem in order to make itself feel better. For some reason, people only feel better about themselves when others feel worse about themselves. It’s a paradox that has us stuck in a cruel cycle.

Here are ways that you can FIND YOUR SELF WORTH

Know your strengths and weakness
- Related Post: Weakness Is Strength
- What comes easily to you?
- What would you like to do?
Become more aware of yourself
- remove distractions
- stop comparing yourself to other people
- try to face the hard truths about yourself
Be courageous
- Related Post: Why You Should Believe You’ll Be Just Fine
- face your fears
- be honest about your likes/dislikes
- find what motivates you/discourages you
Learn and reflect on your past and present mistakes to make a better future
- understand that self-awareness is a lifelong journey
- ask yourself-
- - What happened?
- - What could I have done better?
- - Where did I go wrong?
- - Where did I go right?
- - What I can do better next time?
Try new things
- embrace the word “yes”
- go outside of your comfort zone

Find the oppurtunities that exist. Create the ones that don’t

Use all of your available resources
- internet
- textbooks
Improve yourself by investing in yourself
- Related Post: Unapologetically Living Life
Think, Reflect, Accept, Action
Ask yourself- What’s affecting your awareness of self-worth?
Avoid negative thoughts
- Related Post: Journey to Forgiving Yourself
- Retrain your thoughts
- See yourself as God sees you
Connect with other positive people
- Related Post: How I Got Rid of Toxic People In My Life
- join a small or large group
Create attainable goals:
- Related Post: Steps to Manifesting Your Goals
- Check them off one by one
- It doesn’t matter how big of a step you take, as long as it’s in the right direction

Thank you all for reading my thoughts. I pray that each and every one of you allow God to show you His awesome love so you can know that you are more than worthy of it. Please remember to pray for one another and I pray that you are having a wonderful start to your Tuesday.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -Psalm 139:14

**pictures belong to google**

August 20, 2018August 18, 2018

Questioing Self-Worth

It wasn’t until recently I noticed that I thought I was undeserving of nice things. An opportunity came up where my family and I was offered to sublease a really nice condo from a fellow church member. Her home was really, really nice. It is a lot nicer than my current home and in a way better neighborhood.

After viewing her home, anxiety set it. It was heavy anxiety. The kind that kept me up at night. I couldn’t put my finger on why I felt so uncomfortable. I loved her home. I loved the space, the funky wallpaper, the furniture, the animals, even the backyard. I loved the neighborhood, the school district for my children, and even the private parking space.

So, why did I feel uncomfortable? When I walked into my apartment after viewing hers, I looked around to see the broken light fixture that apartment management has taken weeks to come by and fix. I look at the broken screen door leading out to the patio and the small cluttered space that has my family basically living on top of each other.

I was confused. The opportunity to sublease her nice home compared to staying in my broken down apartment should have made me happy. So why wasn’t I?

Then I became conscious of a recurring thought that I’ve been having for most of my life, subsequently, I was never aware of it. It was a lightbulb moment. I was thinking why would someone like me deserve a nice home like that?

When I became aware of this thought, I was genuinely shocked. Why wouldn’t I be deserving of a nice home? I mean, of course, I am, right? I immediately asked myself, what kind of person thinks like this? Then the answer quickly came to me. The kind of person who has done so much wrong, they feel like they can never be redeemed. The kind of person who feels like they are deserving of every bad thing that happens in their life because of shameful acts from the past. The kind of person who doesn’t believe that their sins died on the cross with Jesus.

Wow! What a wake-up call. There are so many negative feelings that I continue to work through on a daily basis. It’s crazy how thoughts and emotions have been embedded into our psyche that has the ability to prevent is from accepting God’s blessings in our lives.

I’m being reminded on a daily basis that feelings of shame, guilt, and regret have to be fought continuously. One day I’ll feel forgiven and the next day, I’ll feel unworthy of all things good in life. Sometimes I even look at my children and wonder how they can love someone like me.

The way I see it, I am grateful that I am now aware of these feelings. Now I can be proactive about retraining my mind and thoughts to know that I am worthy of a nice home and other things that God wants to bless me with.

Thank you all for reading my thoughts. I pray that you guys see that how wonderful you are and that you too are worthy of Gods awesome blessings. Please remember to pray for one another.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” -August Wilson