Oh how I missed thee? Every time I open WordPress and press that wonderful “write” button, I feel like I’m home. I miss writing so much. I miss sharing my ideas and experiences. I miss reading your words as well as you reading mines. Of course, I’ve allowed life to get in the way of doing what I love to do. Other times, I get discouraged; wanting to write and create, but not wanting to hear the sound of my own thoughts. In order to write, I have think about what I want to say and a lot of times, I want that voice to be silent for as long as possible.
Either way, I always find myself back to my first love; words! I greet you this evening with the intent to share something with you that I find myself clinging onto for hope, prosperity, and redemption. For the past few months I’ve lost my way. Anxiety and depression is more present in my life than ever before. In 12-step programs, they teach us that “depression is self-obsession”. Make sense to me. Anxiety is when we worry about the unknown. When I think about it from a rational perspective, it is a waste of time and energy.
I began making New Years resolutions, starting with putting more effort in my healing and adopting self-love and self-care. Having a family, it hard for me to think of myself. And when I do have time to treat myself to a little self-care, all I want to do is sleep. Tonight, I found out that is one component of self-love and self-care that I have not thought of. This component will not only help me love myself more, but it will also take care of the other ridiculous new year’s resolution I set for myself.
On three different occasions, God brought me to being the “well-watered woman”. This story is presented in John 4:4–26 of the Bible. It speaks of a Samaritan who ran into Jesus at the well near her town. She ran to the well to get a jug of water. Jesus spoke to her (which was technically taboo at that time). The key lesson that we take away from the women at the well is that, she had so much weight, she struggled with so much sin, she needed to be “cleansed”, made new and broken free from the strongholds that had a grip on her life. After Jesus took her burdens and her sins, she ran back to her village to tell everyone what he had done instead of keeping it to herself or believing it was just a coincidence.
What I love about this story is that she was a “nobody”. According to the world, she wasn’t “special” by all means. Matter of fact, they probably would have stoned her for even talking to Jesus. But just like that, he took it all of the weight of her burdens from her. She came for a jug of water, but left with hope, prosperity, and redemption.
Since God gave me three different signs, I believe my place is right beside Jesus at the well. I’ve cried out so many times to have Him remove my strongholds and afflictions from me, but tonight I was reminded that Jesus is the only one that can remove them and my love for him and myself will grow exponentially. I am reminded that it is not me who walks myself through the storm, but he that gives me the strength to walk through and survive. Not only does he give me strength, but he calms my worry and fear and refocuses my mind from the depression.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.— Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
I love you all so much. Thank you for reading my words and continuing to come along side of me during this journey. Please remember to pray for one another.