Good Day Fellow Bloggers,
I hope each of you had a wonderful weekend. My weekend went well. I was able to get shopping done for an upcoming family vacation. And…I didn’t get angry with my kids, which is a huge improvement. Anger has been a difficult hurdle to cross, but with Gods love, I am able to push forward and overcome it. In the near future, I want to share with you guys techniques that I have learned to control my anger.
Anyway, today I wanted to speak more about a blog post that I started talking about my journey to seeking God, per his request. To catch up, please read Seeking God to get the full story of why I started this particular journey. I shared that my purpose in Christ, right now, is to know him intimately. Through prayer and elder guidance, it is clear that my mission is to simply, get to know him. The more to I study my bible, the more his answers become so clear.
It’s funny because I’ve been a Christian for 21 years, but this is the first time since being saved that I have actively sought out having a relationship with God. It now seems that the blinders have been taken off. So as a blogger, I feel it would be irresponsible of me not to document this season of my life. I mean, it’s the reason why I started blogging in the first place. I love each and every one of you, but blogging started because of my Father and it’s running on His Spirit, alone. If I trusted blogging to myself, I probably wouldn’t get it done. Since I know this is what I’m called to do, then I shall obey. Plus, I would be a terrible person if I didn’t admit that I absolutely love it and it shows how gracious God is. He chose blogging to be my outlet, something I never thought I would become. I’m basketing in the glory of knowing I am on the right track to becoming his tapestry.
Related Post: Weakness Is Strength
I’m rambling, so let’s get to the point.
I’m surprised you guys deal with it. Hehe 🙂 Today, I want to talk about what I have recently learned on my journey to seek God. (I said that already, oh well, too late to delete it.) Sometimes, I feel so burdened by my responsibility, followed by guilt that I am unable to “fulfill” my duties as a wife and a mother. There are days where I am so mentally drained, I am unable to function. And other days, I am so physically drained, I am unable to function. And there are those days that I am so emotionally drained…well, you get the drift. I have wasted a lot of time trying to get through this by myself. My husband will yell at me to “put the laundry basket down, I got it!” or “save your energy and get some rest.” There is so much that needs to be done, and pridefully, I love providing for my family. I feel that I’ve done my due diligence when I cook dinner or fold laundry. You know, mom stuff. Then, it becomes too much and my body will begin craving a comfortable sitting or a heating pad.
On those days that we are soooo mentally, physically, and emotionally drained, we are to look to God because He will ease all of our burdens. God knows our limitations and breaking points. When we feel alone and burdened by our daily responsibilities, we should pour out our hearts to him and trust him to provide relief.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:19)
There is no limit to his power and what he can provide. The Lord will never fail us, nor forsake us. It may sound cliche and I’m sure you’ve heard it a million times before, God will never give you anything you are unable to handle. Plus, if you are unable to handle it, he will handle it for you.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Cor. 12:9)
Whatever storm you are going through, just know it is supposed to make you grow. It is supposed to make you stronger. Your storms are not meant to break you, but to build you. Don’t allow the enemy to control you, trick you into thinking you are going through alone. You are not alone!
And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” (Mt. 21:22)
Learning this during my journey has helped me immensely. I finally don’t feel like I’m drowning anymore. You can read all about that here Living with Depression. I pray that you all have a wonderful rest of your Sunday (or a beautiful start to your Monday for some of my friends in a different country).
Lord, I pray for whoever is reading this, that you give them strength to continue their fight, but find peace in knowing that you are there to carry the burdens. Lord, bless them and comfort them. Allow them to feel your presence. Grant them comfort in their mind and in their hearts. Stay Blessed!
Lord, help me remember that no matter what happens, nothing is going to happen to me today that you and I cannot handle. -Unknown
Image borrowed from kcm.org
sauce! When I was online, I read about one tragic event after another. Without social media, I didn’t hear about the awful happenings of the world all of the time. Even when my husband would try to tell me something that he read on Facebook, I would simply reply, “Babe, I’m not on social media for a reason”.
Sometimes, when dealing with stress, we forget about the goals that we had before those other situations arose. My kids were surprised when I told them I had dreams. Hannah said, “…but moms don’t have dreams. We are your dreams.” 
Mental illness sucks. I’m sitting here trying to come with clever ways to express those three simple words, but all the comes to mind is mental illness sucks. One reason why it sucks is that mental illness will trick you into believing that feelings matter. When, in the grand scheme of things, they do not. For example, mental illness makes me feel like I’m a bad mother for having a mental illness. When the truth is, I’m not. It’s because of mental illness that I am a good mother. I am always conscious of making sure that my children do not experience the harsh realities that come with having a mentally ill parent. I am always aware of their feelings and what may or may not be affecting them.
For me, forgiveness is more about me than it is about you. People chose not to forgive because they feel they may be doing that person a favor or they may feel like that person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. But then there is that word again, feel. If you are having a hard time forgiving someone, ask yourself…what great feeling do you have when you chose not to forgive? Do you feel better or worse? Do you feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders or do you feel angry and bitter?
Feelings should have nothing to do with doing the right thing. For example, saying hurtful words feels so good when I’m angry. When I become angry, my mind begins to fill with horrible thoughts. It’s like I am possessed. I am capable of saying some pretty awful things. When I’m angry, it feels great to say those awful things…until I calm down. Then I feel like the worst person in the world. I then, begin to obsess about how to make it right. Thus, resulting in an obsessive cycle of beating myself up. All because I felt angry. When in fact, my feelings should not cause me to want to hurt someone else. God says:
Right now, I feel overwhelmed and hopeless. I feel like I am never going to move past these moments of dread and disparity. I feel like I am losing the war that is going on in my mind and body, but guess what? Those are just feelings. They are not my reality. We have to hold on to the fact that feelings do not define our truth, they do not reflect our reality. They just simply reflect our mind frame. We have to keep reminding ourselves that we are more than what we are feeling at the moment. Moments are periods of time that have a beginning and an end. Moments can last for seconds or for years, but we are not meant to set up permanent residence in said moments. We are meant to live life, embracing those moments so we can learn and grow from them. What do you do when you are done reading a chapter in a book? You move on to the next chapter, right? Moments are chapters in your book of life. Don’t stay stuck in one chapter because you feel trapped or hopeless.
1. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Oddly enough, I’ve never been upset with them. I know it is hard to be friends with someone who suffers from severe depression and bipolar disorder. We can be unpredictable. How can I expect anyone to understand what I am going through if I don’t even understand what I’m going through? I mean, honestly, I don’t expect anyone to put up with it. A person can only take so much rejection. Maybe, I’ve never pursued a failed friendship because I know they do not deserve to be shut out of my life just because I’m going through a rough time.
I do have one friend, that no matter how long I go without talking to her, she never gives up on me. She’ll constantly call and harass me until I reply. Even if weeks go by without a word. Somehow, she’s always there. One time, I tried to purposely push her away. At the time, I was unable to see past my own issues and felt she would be better off without me as a friend, but she is relentless. She is a like my husband farts; no matter how far you go to get away, she still lingers. I love her to pieces and sometimes I feel I don’t deserve her. She never reads my blogs post, so she’ll never know much I love her being so dang annoying 🙂
If you are friends with someone who suffers from a mental illness, please have patience with them. It is not an excuse, but during manic moments, we are not ourselves. Our brains are trying to make sense of the rapid emotions flowing through our body and our mind. Everything feels right but wrong. The sun is shining 24 hours out of the day, while the nights’ dark skies gloom in the background. Up is down and everywhere is nowhere.
For some time now, I’ve been wanting to blog daily. At first, it seemed like an unattainable goal. Now, after hard work and meeting most of the previous goals that I have set for myself, now I feel that God is telling me that I’m ready. I mean, it’s not like I don’t have anything to talk about. My mind is always racing with ideas, stories, and more ideas. Even if I was unable to come up with anything to blog about, my life is interesting enough with three little people running around. I’m sure that I would be able to come up with great material for you fine folks.
I procrastinate because, well, honestly, sometimes I just don’t feel like it. Especially when I’m sick, and especially ESPECIALLY when everyone in my house is sick and all I want to do is get some sleep…just a wink of rest. But then how I can ask, no, BEG God to bless me when I’m whining about getting sleep? Sounds foolish when I think about it. It’s like God saying, “Ashley, go buy a lottery ticket. You’re going to win.” And I’m like, *in my whiney child-like voice* “…but Lord, I’m tired. Can I go later?” What sense does that make? He’s trying to give me some money and I’m whining.
I want to be like Abraham. If you don’t know, God asked this man to not only travel, I believe three days (walking distance) away from home, but he wanted him to kill his own son as a sacrifice (Genesis 22:2-3) Crazy, right? But Abraham obeyed without hesitation. He packed up his stuff, grabbed a couple of servants, some supplies, and his son, Isaac, and headed off. Right when Abraham was about to stab Isaac, an Angel screamed out for him to stop. God told Abraham that he has proven his faith and because of it, God wants him to sacrifice a ram instead (Genesis 22:10-12). How awesome is that? Honestly, I couldn’t have done it. My faith is so weak right now, I would’ve been like, “Ok, Lord, I know I didn’t hear that right. So I’m just going to ignore it.” 
As I lay on your chest while hearing the song of your heartbeat, I reflect on the life that we have together. Who knew that five years ago, God would bless me 😇with someone who would heal all of my wounds from the inside out. 
You were made for me and I was made for you. We finish each other sentences. I know what you want before you even ask. My soul is directly connected to yours.☯️
Thank you for being the best husband a lady could pray for you. You have exceeded my expectations of what a loving husband is and it is all thanks to our Heavenly Father. 
We have been through the trenches of hell together and because of it, our bond and love have been transformed into a foundation that cannot be destroyed by anyone or anything.
You have loved my children as if they were your own and you have blessed me with a mini-you👶🏽that has all of your most beautiful qualities.
Saying I love you will never be enough to fully express the gratitude and admiration that I have for you. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for setting an example for our children of what real love looks like. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Most importantly, thank you for loving me for me. 😘
Good day all!
Healing with Harotian 
