Let Me Go, Guilt!

Do you feel guilty? I do, well at least I used to. It was very easy to feel guilty about the things that I would say or do. I would feel guilty for stooping down to someone’s juvenile behavior by arguing or “seeking revenge”. I would feel guilty about being rude or disrespectful. I would feel guilty if someone sneezed and I wouldn’t say “bless you”. 

After a while, I was tired of feeling guilty all of the time. At first, I blamed other people. I would even go as far to say that someone else “made me do it” or “made me say it”. Suddenly, I came to the realization that guilt is a burden that we were never meant to bear.

I’ve realized that guilt is such a meaningless emotion, yet it has the ability to crumble the sturdiest of foundations. So, why do we bother giving attention to an emotion that is essentially a waste of time? Judgment! Usually, we feel guilty about something because we are afraid of being judged. Let’s say you cheated on your wife/husband. You may feel guilt because you know that if your spouse found out, they would be extremely hurt. Let’s say you and your spouse have an open marriage (meaning you can carry on relationships with other people outside of your relationship). Would you feel guilty for sleeping with someone else, then? Probably not, because you know that your spouse is ok with it.

When you do something wrong, you’ve done it. That’s it. You can’t undo it. You can’t “unring a bell”, as they say. So why feel guilty? Why agonize over the terrible thing that you’ve done? You’re human and you’re going to make mistake no matter how much you try not to. The only person that walked this earth that was perfect was Jesus and even Jesus was judged and crucified by His peers. So, the question is are you, Jesus? If your answer is no, then you can stop expecting perfection. If your answer is yes, then maybe you should reevaluate your life. Just a suggestion. The expectation of perfection is almost as asinine as feeling guilty for your actions. If we truly think about it, it doesn’t make sense.

I recently hurt my baby boy by accident. Afterward, saying I felt guilty wouldn’t be an accurate description of my true feelings. The more appropriate words would be cow dung. It wasn’t long before I realized that feeling guilty or like cow dung wasn’t going to help my baby boy feel better. The only accomplishments that guilt would result in are negative thoughts and self-pity. “Oh, woe is me…I’m such a crappy mother…I hurt my baby…wah, wah, wah.” You get the picture. The feeling of guilt had to be pushed to the side. I had to come up with a plan to help him feel better, along with making a mental note to not hurt him in the manner again. I asked for forgiveness from my son and my Lord and kept it pushing. I know that my son and God forgave me, so that wasn’t much more for me to do. “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved” (John 3:17)

Meaning, God already knew that I was going to mess up. He already knew that I was going to hurt my son, but He tells us not to worry. As long as I say sorry, or repent, I will be forgiven. So why should I feel ashamed of something that I have already been forgiven for? I know that we encounter people into our lives that may be as forgiving as our heavenly Father. I have a few of those people in my family, but if someone chooses not to forgive you or hold onto a grudge to make you feel guilty, then that seems more like their problem and not yours.

Throughout the day, guilt would try to attach itself to me when I saw my sons big beautiful brown eyes glaring up at me. I would think, “how could I hurt someone that darn cute.” But then, I would immediately dismiss it. I thought, “It’s done. It’s over with. I’ve fixed it and there is nothing that I can do now except move on.”

Below are a few thoughts that I recited to myself to kick guilts butt. I hope you are able to find them helpful so you can be free from any guilt that you may be holding onto:

• I did what I did and I said what I said. There is no way to go back and change it. What I will do TODAY, is appreciate every darn thing I did badly. Because tomorrow, I won’t do it again.
• “No matter how frustrated, disappointed and discouraged we may feel in the face of our failures, it’s only temporary. And the faster you can stop wallowing in guilt, blame or resentment, the faster you can put it behind you.” -Fabrizio Moreira
• I am the master of my own feelings. I am only here to learn from my mistakes. I am not perfect and I don’t expect anyone else to be.  What I choose to do now, is learn and grow from my mistakes.
• An exciting and inspiring future awaits you beyond the noise in your mind, beyond the guilt, doubt, fear, shame, insecurity, and heaviness of the past you carry around. -Debbie Ford
• “An apology may be a sign of weakness, but having the courage to go up to someone and say sorry is a strength!” -Unknown
• “Mistakes are part of life, everyone makes them, everyone regrets them. But, some learn from them and some end up making them again. It’s up to you to decide if you’ll use your mistakes to your advantage.”– Meredith Sapp

Drop a comment below to share any affirmations or quotes that help you get rid of guilt. Otherwise, have a wonderful rest of your day. I love you all for reading my thoughts and wish nothing but joy and peace in your life. God bless!

Images borrowed from Crosswalk.com, Linkedin, and Writers Bloc