anxiety – Page 6 – Healing with Harotian

February 22, 2018April 10, 2018

Apple Pickens Giggen Bottoms

Hey friends!

So I wanted to share a true moment of joy for me. Right now, I am chilling in very large/very small sofa couch thing. Sorry, I don’t know the technical name for it. Anyway, it’s in a private spot that my husband set up for me next to our patio door so I can have a “zen” writing area. My view is filled with naked trees, modern buildings, but most importantly a beautiful, bright blue sky.

wildmedicalindiancow-size_restricted So this moment of joy that I’ve just experienced was brought by one small memory. Picture this, 12-year-old Ashley, feeling unloved and unwanted by her loved ones. While struggling with the developments of puberty (but then again, who didn’t struggle with puberty?). My boyfriend (very 1st) introduced me to the sweet sounds of Boyz II Men. I will never forget hearing…

I long for, the warmth of, days gone by
When you were mine
But now those days are memories in time
Life’s empty, without you
By my side
My heart belongs to you
No matter what I try

-Boyz II Men, 4 Seasons of Lonliness

…for the first time.

sinfulclumsybactrian-size_restricted Since that moment, I became obsessed. I consider myself one of the biggest Boyz II Men fans in the world. There are very few celebrities that I would stop traffic for, Jesus, Leonardo Decaprio, and Boyz II Men. I developed a connection with this group because they got me through a lot! They were with me when the depression began to rear its ugly head. They convinced me to forgive when my boyfriend broke my heart. They told me to forgive my mother when I was upset with her. They taught me I am worthy to be loved. They taught me to love God and most importantly, love myself. Every song, every melody, every precious note that hit my hear was inspiring my soul.

They replanted the seed of self-worth that has been slowly picked out by heartbreak and betrayal. They taught me how I deserved to be treated as a woman and a mother by my future spouse. I developed a sense of love, hope, and happiness. They helped me daydream of moments that inspire me today to be a good woman, wife, and mother. I wanted to be loved, but I wanted to love deeply and unconditionally. They inspired the hopeless romantic poet you see before you. They taught me how to be expressive. Oddly, they taught me how to love and how to be loved. They taught me my first lesson of developing healthy habits to control my emotions.

I was able to use poetry as an outlet. This later grew into a hunger for learning as much as I can so I can write as much I can. And now I am a blogger. I’ve been writing since I could remember, but it was Boyz II Men (and the love of Jesus) that ignited a passion for what I wanted to write about. A flood of emotions began pouring out like a wild but tamed storm Each time my pencil would mark my notepad. I felt a star being born (a literal star, not “I’m going to be a star” star).

Just now, while typing another blog about (well, I’ll let it be a surprise), a sweet angelic voice came out of my laptop speakers singing

She was like nothing I’d ever known
Her eyes shine like diamonds in a field of snow
The way destiny led her to me
Made me feel like life was now complete

-Boyz II Men, Pass You By

I had to stop what I was doing to share this moment. When Wanye began singing his heart out from my Youtube app, I was immediately reminded of the amount of self-worth and pride I developed. I was reminded of a happier time in society, where self-esteem was not an issue because there were men in this world who knew the value of a woman, a good woman. That woman aren’t b***ches and h**s, but are beautiful creatures gracing the earth with our knowledge and love.

So, ok, you’re saying, “Ashley, get to the point! Why did you to completely stop what you’re doing to share this moment with us?” Or maybe you’re saying, “Ashley, get to the point! This post is taking way too long to read.” Either way, I wanted to completely stop what I was doing to tell you that you are loved. You deserve to be treated like the king/queen that you are. Live every moment of your life feeling every positive emotion that you can; happiness, joy, hope, serenity, kindness, gratitude. Remember the awesome things that make you, you.

You are awesome-sauce! I don’t care what your boss said. I don’t care what your mama said. I don’t care what your kid said. You are BEAUTIFUL! You are WONDERFUL! You are the perfect result of God’s creation and best believe He makes NO mistakes. Boyz II Men told me, now I’m telling you. Love deeply, love intensely, but most importantly, love yourself!

“I love the lord, he heard my cry.” Boyz II Men, Dear God

By the way, if you had noticed, my blog title has nothing to do with my post. I just couldn’t come up with a title and this was the first thing that popped into my head. Thanks for reading. Even all the way down here cause this is a long post. 🙂 Love you all!

February 21, 2018April 11, 2018

20 Habits To Guarantee Happiness

In today’s society, the meaning of true happiness has been defined as “what can I get for myself” or “what can this other person do to make me happy”.

I hate to break the news to you, but if you are looking for happiness in materialistic entities or other people, you will never be happy…EVER!

How do I become happy, you ask? Well, below are a few things that you can add to your everyday life that will guarantee true happiness.

Meditate
Have faith
Eat Healthy
Exercise
Read more
Judge less
Respect yourself and other people
Be passionate
Drink more water
Accept your flaws
Stop making excuses
Live in the moment
Have goals
Stop comparing yourself to other people
Stop taking things personally
Never stop learning
Listen more, talk less
Find a purpose
Forgive
Appreciate the little things

I have been desperately applying each one to my everyday life. I will testify, that they have greatly improved how I view my life and how I deal with difficult situations and people that came my way. We cannot change the world by simply sitting back and complaining about it. If each and every one of us developed the above habits, we have the ability to not only improve our own lives but the lives of others around us. Happiness is contagious, just like sadness and disparity. If we take the time to spread more love, then maybe, just maybe, the rest of the world will take heed and follow. If not, then at least your life will be greatly improved.

I hope you all are having a wonderful week.

February 19, 2018May 16, 2018

I Suck At Maintaining Friendships

I suck at maintaining relationships. Whew! There, I said it out loud. I’m sure people that I used to be friends with would say the same thing. It’s always something I’ve known deep down, but I don’t think I’ve actually admitted it until now.

I would love to say that my failed friendships are completely and utterly the fault of said ex-friends, but I would be lying big time! Some friendships I’ve lost because they were toxic. Some I’ve lost simply because we grew apart. But more than I would like to admit, most friendships were lost because of the depression I would have after a manic episode and my inability to seek the appropriate help.

After going through a manic episode, I would go into a deep depression, completely withdrawing myself from everyone; friends, family, co-workers, etc. This was not intentional of course. I would just become a recluse. Now, most people would allow me to wallow in my own misery without a second thought for my concern. But there were a few people who really tried to be a great friend during my moments of severe depression, but eventually, they would feel neglected and leave the friendship, which I totally understand. Afterwards, I would feel so embarrassed and ashamed, I wouldn’t contact them anymore. Regrettably, I’ve lost a lot of great people in my life this way.

Oddly enough, I’ve never been upset with them. I know it is hard to be friends with someone who suffers from severe depression and bipolar disorder. We can be unpredictable. How can I expect anyone to understand what I am going through if I don’t even understand what I’m going through? I mean, honestly, I don’t expect anyone to put up with it. A person can only take so much rejection. Maybe, I’ve never pursued a failed friendship because I know they do not deserve to be shut out of my life just because I’m going through a rough time.

Truly, I don’t think that I’m a very good friend. I love all of my friends, past, and present. Especially the ones that were there for me during some of my dark times and I will always hold them close to my heart.

If you are reading this and we stopped being friends due to my inability to function because of my mental illness, please forgive me. I want you to know that I did love you and appreciate you and it was nothing that you did. It sounds cliche, but it was ALL me, not you. I am so very sorry for not being able to be the friend that you deserved. I’m sorry for abandoning you and leaving you without an explanation. Futhermore, I am sorry for causing any trust issues you may have in the future for anyone who is trying to be your friend.

I do have one friend, that no matter how long I go without talking to her, she never gives up on me. She’ll constantly call and harass me until I reply. Even if weeks go by without a word. Somehow, she’s always there. One time, I tried to purposely push her away. At the time, I was unable to see past my own issues and felt she would be better off without me as a friend, but she is relentless. She is a like my husband farts; no matter how far you go to get away, she still lingers. I love her to pieces and sometimes I feel I don’t deserve her. She never reads my blogs post, so she’ll never know much I love her being so dang annoying 🙂

Sometimes, I become sad when I think about how I don’t have many friends. But I think, they are better off. Until I learn how to better handle manic episodes when they occur, no one should be subjected to a part-time friend. People, especially good people, deserve better than that.

If you are friends with someone who suffers from a mental illness, please have patience with them. It is not an excuse, but during manic moments, we are not ourselves. Our brains are trying to make sense of the rapid emotions flowing through our body and our mind. Everything feels right but wrong. The sun is shining 24 hours out of the day, while the nights’ dark skies gloom in the background. Up is down and everywhere is nowhere.

Does anyone else struggle with maintaining any kind of relationship while dealing with a mental illness? I would love to hear how it is for you.

Thank you for reading my thoughts.

I’d walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that’s dangerous. But a super humid room… well not too humid, because you know… my hair. -Anonymous

February 15, 2018

Stop Whining, Ashley!

For some time now, I’ve been wanting to blog daily. At first, it seemed like an unattainable goal. Now, after hard work and meeting most of the previous goals that I have set for myself, now I feel that God is telling me that I’m ready. I mean, it’s not like I don’t have anything to talk about. My mind is always racing with ideas, stories, and more ideas. Even if I was unable to come up with anything to blog about, my life is interesting enough with three little people running around. I’m sure that I would be able to come up with great material for you fine folks.

So what is stopping me? Fear? Procrastination? Uncertainty? All of the above. I am fearful because sometimes I doubt my writing ability. I’ve been experiencing a lot of confusion and that feeling of being “lost”. Apparently, a lot of people with Lupus experience the same side effect of this mysterious auto-immune disorder. Then I realized, if God is giving me instructions to blog every day, then that means He will bless me for obeying his directions, so I shouldn’t worry, right? I believe that all of the instructions that He is giving me will lead me to an overabundance of blessings. He has already proven to me that when I listen, I am blessed beyond my imagination. So, I shouldn’t be afraid. And after this, I no longer will be.

I procrastinate because, well, honestly, sometimes I just don’t feel like it. Especially when I’m sick, and especially ESPECIALLY when everyone in my house is sick and all I want to do is get some sleep…just a wink of rest. But then how I can ask, no, BEG God to bless me when I’m whining about getting sleep? Sounds foolish when I think about it. It’s like God saying, “Ashley, go buy a lottery ticket. You’re going to win.” And I’m like, *in my whiney child-like voice* “…but Lord, I’m tired. Can I go later?” What sense does that make? He’s trying to give me some money and I’m whining.

I want to be like Abraham. If you don’t know, God asked this man to not only travel, I believe three days (walking distance) away from home, but he wanted him to kill his own son as a sacrifice (Genesis 22:2-3) Crazy, right? But Abraham obeyed without hesitation. He packed up his stuff, grabbed a couple of servants, some supplies, and his son, Isaac, and headed off. Right when Abraham was about to stab Isaac, an Angel screamed out for him to stop. God told Abraham that he has proven his faith and because of it, God wants him to sacrifice a ram instead (Genesis 22:10-12). How awesome is that? Honestly, I couldn’t have done it. My faith is so weak right now, I would’ve been like, “Ok, Lord, I know I didn’t hear that right. So I’m just going to ignore it.”

I just learned today, actually, what God does when we disobey Him. In Numbers 14:39-45, it says when the Israelites disobeyed God by not going to the land that He promised them, he abandoned them. When Moses told them that God was upset, they were like, “Oh, well let’s go!” But by then, it was too late. God had already abandoned them.

I don’t want it to be too late for me. I don’t want God to abandon me. Which I know he won’t but still. I want to have unshakeable faith. This I pray every day. Give me strength like Abraham, Lord because I know that blessings will outweigh the consequences.

So, expect to see a lot of me! You all have taught me so much from your blogs and I want to thank you for that. This should be easy breezy beautiful cover girl.

“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” James 1:22-25

February 14, 2018

Divine Valentine

I want to wish everyone a wonderful Valentines Day 💕. Let today be a day of love and forgiveness. Love on your spouse, love on your children, love on your parents, but most importantly☝🏽☺️love on yourself! 😉🤗🌹

February 9, 2018April 4, 2018

Funny Friday’s

Good day all!

This has been a trying week, but I refuse to be defeated. This joke is dedicated to everyone who has had a rough week, but is still kicking butt and taking names👊🏽👊🏽Keep smiling through the chaos🤪 😁 Don’t give up ☝🏽& tell a stranger you love them today ❤️

“Tricky Jar”

An 85-year-old man goes to see his doctor for his regular physical exam. The doctor says that the man needs to provide a semen sample and gives him a jar saying, “Take this jar home with you and come back tomorrow with a semen sample.”

The next day the old man goes back to the doctors and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as when the doctor gave it to him. So the doctor asks what happened and why there is no sperm sample in the jar. The old man says, “Well, doc, it’s like this… first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand – nothing; then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Maisie, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.”

The doctor is really shocked by all this and asks incredulously, “You asked your neighbor???”

The old man replies, “Yep, not one of us could get the jar open.”

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” -Charlie Chaplin

Joke borrowed from LaffGaff.com

February 7, 2018February 7, 2018

Social Media Fast Update

2370150 Good day all,

So, you want to know how I’ve been doing on my 30-day Social Media fast? Well, I’ll tell you anyway 🙂 To catch up, click here My 30 Day Fast From Social Media to read the details of my social media fast and why I am doing it.

I was doing really well. I really was, until…I received a notification on my phone from the Apple News app saying, “Kylie Jenner reveals the birth of baby girl.” This was a trigger because social media has been in a frenzy since September due to pregnancy allegations. No one has been able to provide tangible proof of this “alleged pregnancy”, until Tuesday. I looked at the headline for about two minutes arguing with myself. I wasn’t sure if Apple News counted as “social media”. It is a news outlet, right? So, I clicked on the article.

After I read it, I felt a bit ashamed. I was excited that I had gone a week without reading celebrity gossip. I was able to convince myself that this is more of an announcement than gossip, so I hit the link to watch the video that she made during her secret pregnancy. I was so curious, but later felt robbed of the 7 minutes of my life that I gave to watching her video. It left no satisfaction at all.

I thought long and hard as to why I was so interested in this girl having a baby. Millions of women have babies every day and I’m not lurking on Apple News to read about their experiences.

I am going to take my little slip up as continued motivation to complete my challenge. Honestly, it has left a nasty taste in my mouth. I’m not sure what made me more upset, the sudden urgency I felt to check her pregnancy video or me giving in and watching the video. Either way, this incident has further proven why I NEED to do this challenge. I should have control over what I read and watch, not the other way around.

If you are trying to overcome any addiction right now, I am proud of you for taking the first step. I also want you to know that if you have a slip-up, forgive yourself and keep pushing forward. You may have thoughts of self-doubt, but give yourself some credit. You taking that first step to admitting that you have an addiction and setting a plan in place to subdue it is a lot more than many of the people living right now.

We got this!

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt

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Photo Credit to http://goaliefights.blogspot.com/

February 4, 2018April 4, 2018

My 30 Day Fast From Social Media

*Yawn* I wake up, roll over grab my phone to see the time. I then determine how long do I have before I actually have to get out of the bed. If it’s more than 2 minutes, I scream “yes!” in my head because that’s enough time for me to hop on Instagram. Specifically, to check gossip blog pages. I know, I know, I have a weakness for gossip. I’ve been able to bring it to a halt in my personal life by living by one rule, “minding my bizness!” But celebrity gossip is a completely different monster.

When Beyoncé broke the internet by announcing her pregnancy (both times), I religiously checked the gossip blog sites for updates on maternity shoot photos and gender reveals. I was an addict. I found myself getting sucked into her life and drama. When I found out Beyoncé got cheated on, I was angry. When I found out she had a miscarriage, I was devastated. It’s crazy when I think about it because I’m feeling so many raw emotions for a person that I don’t even know! And I wonder why I’m depressed.

Before, I lied to myself about saying deleting Facebook was enough, but my addiction to Instagram has proved otherwise. My husband made a snippy little comment about how much I love Instagram. I have to prove to him (and myself) that he’s wrong. So, I’ve decided to start a social media fast. It actually began at approximately 8pm (CST) this past Wednesday night and I’m jonesing a little bit. I’ve deleted all of my social media apps (except this one ☝🏽☺️) so I won’t be tempted to “check something really quick”. That’s usually how an hour long binge of trying to find out who cheated with who begins. Nah!

gossip Now, usually, when people decide to fast, they abstain from food. In my case, abstaining from food is not a problem since I’m limited to what I can eat. So, I am offering Instagram as my sacrifice because it really is something I enjoy, but it’s bad for my mental health and just simply a waste of time. I could be doing something more conducive to my recovery. I want to be able to use social media for business only. This is what I pray that I will accomplish at the end of my fast.

My faith teaches me that fasting, or “to abstain from” pleasurable things will bring me closer to Christ through prayer(1 Corinthians 7:5) which is what I want to accomplish as well.

fasting-monks-250x179 But I believe the idea for fasting should be an open idea for anyone who wants to evolve from depression and anxiety. Maybe, abstaining from some of your desires will give you a sense of control and pride when you accomplish it. Plus, it’ll help you focus on something other than your own thoughts. Making such goals and sticking to them will be awesome for your recovery. It’ll give you pride and self-worth. Most importantly, it will feel grrrrreat! I’m more than positive that taking this step will boost my mood overall and I can’t wait!

Here are the tips that I plan on using to fast:

1. Find something else to do when I get tempted

2. Consider the personal and spiritual consequences if I give into the desire

3. Don’t think about it, pray about it.

If you guys have any tips I can use, please drop a comment below. I would greatly appreciate it. Wish me luck 🤞🏽

“The philosophy of fasting calls upon us to know ourselves, to master ourselves, and to discipline ourselves the better to free ourselves. To fast is to identify our dependencies, and free ourselves from them.” -Tariq Ramadan

February 2, 2018April 4, 2018

Funny Fridays

A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love.

The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, “I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?”

The frog asks for the good news first.

The fortune teller says, “You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you and will want to know all about you. She will want you to open up for her and you will give her your heart.”

“That’s great!” says the frog. “But what’s the bad news?”

“Well, you’re going to meet her in Biology class.”

Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend!

Story borrowed from SunnySkyz.com

February 1, 2018January 31, 2018

Time for A Celebration!

Picture me, sliding across a wooden floor in white tube socks like Tom Cruise in Top Gun, because I just realized I’m at 365 followers!

All of you, each and every one, is awesome sauce for hitting that follow button. You guys are the real MVP’s, seriously. You inspire me everyday with your blog post, likes, comments, award nomination, etc. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

In celebration, I would like to share the wealth. I want each of you guys to know each other. Most of us follow the same blogs, but here is a chance to meet someone knew. I’ve meet remarkable people with different religions, backgrounds, ethnicity, etc. Its been a beautiful experience. I encourage you guys to do the same.

My favorite feature of the WordPress community is we all have at least two things in common; we’re all human and we all have something to say. I love that I can share my thoughts and struggles without being judged for my race or social class. I’m just one person amongst billions trying to make it through life.

I came across a wonderful blog, CharlieCountryBoy and he reblogged a wonderful idea from Dream Big, Dream Often blog that says IF YOU DROP A LINK IN MY COMMENTS, I WILL REPOST YOUR BLOG! And I want to participate.

So, I want to you to drop a link of your blog in the comments below. I will reblog it on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I will also try to remember to reblog this for any new followers.

Let’s all help each other. Drop the link below to get a little exposure. We’re all here for a reason, right?

Stay blessed loved ones! And thanks again!

January 31, 2018January 31, 2018

Black and White Photo Challenge Day 7

I would like to thank the lovely Shreya Jindal for nominating me for this wonderful black and white photo challenge.

Rules are:

Seven days
Seven black and white photos of your life
No people
No explanation
Challenge someone new each day.

Thank you so much for sticking with me though this challenge. It was a little difficult because almost everything in my life has an explanation in it or people in it. I guess that’s what made it a challenge. 😉❤️

January 31, 2018April 11, 2018

How I Got Rid of Toxic People In My Life

hb1tf1a About ten years ago, I allowed a close family member to break my heart. So, much so, I was bedridden with grief for about two days. It was hard for me to overcome because I couldn’t wrap my head around why she would betray me. I didn’t do anything to her to deserve it. She saw an opportunity to take advantage of my kindness and took off with it like she was Usain Bolt. It left me feeling worthless because, at the time, I truly felt like she genuinely wanted to build a relationship with me. It was all I was praying for; understanding and love from someone I grew up with.

42-23039081 Needless to say, that wasn’t the case. Fast forward to 2017, this same person needed my help again. I should have said no. She is a toxic person. You couldn’t deny the energy in the room turning sour once she entered it. It was a stench that you couldn’t ignore. She was someone that couldn’t be trusted, but I thought that was in the past. So I helped. Sometimes, I ask myself why did I bother. She would only turn around and do the exact same thing she did years prior. This time, it hit me even harder. I was already going through and hard time and bam! Here she was with her shenanigans.

At the beginning of this post, I said I allowed her to break my heart. I say I allowed it because I feel that people will only do to you what YOU allow them to do. I knew how she was (both times), but I thought that she had grown into a better person. I was wrong. She played me like a cheap violin. While she was basking in the glory of my pain, I was letting out the real pain of betrayal and heartache.

I had to figure out, what does God say about toxic people? How do I NOT allow them to affect me so much? What do I do about them? How do I get “over it”? I prayed every day to become the kind of person to brush things off as easily as she brushed me off, but I had to learn to get through it and here is how.

I came across a book that would answer most of my questions. It’s called How God Sees Your Struggles by Lynn R. Davis. In the first chapter, she makes explains how God wants us to handle toxic people and their foolishness. Below are the lessons that I learned to get rid of her and other toxic people in my life and here is how you can too:

Stop allowing yourself to get worked up about what other people think, say, or believe about you.

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict; walk away. The battle they are fighting isn’t with you. It is with themselves.” -Anonymous

You are a beautiful creation of God. The only opinion that matters is His and His alone. God wants you to know that you were not created to be abused, used, mistreated, or mocked.

“What is the price of two sparrows-one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid ; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows?” -Matthew 10:29-31

You will never have peace if you do not overcome your need to please people and expect to maintain your health, peace, and sanity.
Do not allow yourself to get sucked in by other peoples foolishness.
Do not allow them to pollute your faith.

“Unfriendly people care only about themselves; they lash out at common sense. Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.” -Proverbs 18:1-2

Toxic people will try to make you stoop down to their level. Do not allow them to do this. It will only cause more stress and heartache for you in the end. Although it’s hard, walk away. Only speak in love, let it go, walk away, and pray for them. They are miserable, not you. Give it all to God.
Do not waste your time and tears on toxic people. If you do, you will never have peace. Only God can change their hearts.

“When a wise man has controversy with a foolish man, the foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest.” -Proverbs 29:9.

Stay encouraged for doing the right thing. As long as your heart is right with God, so will your actions. Don’t worry yourself about how to get back at the people that attack you. God will deal with them as He sees fit.

“The way of the Lord is a stronghold to those with integrity, but it destroys the wicked.” -Proverbs 10:29

Toxic people bring destruction on themselves. Spend time in prayer and meditation so you don’t allow yourself to get sucked up in their chaos. Once you’re sucked in, it’s hard to get out. You will then find yourself reaping the benefits of their turmoil.

After following the do’s and don’ts of dealing with toxic people, I can say that I have peace. I love my close family member, as I should, but that is as far as our relationship goes. I pray that she is able to let go whatever is causing her so much misery, but until then, I can’t deal with her and now that I know my worth, I refuse to. I used to feel bad about it, but now I don’t. God says that I have to love her and pray for her. He doesn’t say anything about me taking abuse from her or anyone else. Sometimes I have to ask God to give me the desire to pray for her. That way, I can heal from her destruction and move on.

I hope you are able to let go of the toxic people in your life. Trust me, you will be better off. If you are interested in reading her book, you can find it on Amazon by clicking HERE. You can read it for free by downloading the 30-Day free trial Kindle Unlimited by clicking HERE. It’s worth it and honestly, this is how I was able to read it. Thank you for reading my thoughts. God bless you all.

January 30, 2018January 30, 2018

Love Me, Do Ya?

Joann with This Is My Florida Blog, Daman with Above and Beyond the Infinity Blog, and Gail with Gail Love God Blog were all wonderful enough to nominate me for 3 very different, wonderful blog awards. Thank you all so very much. I am moved every time I open my notifications and see that someone has nominated me or liked or commented on my posts. Your recognition motivates me every day to share wonderful content with you guys. You inspire me to get through the bad days. You all are so much a part of my life and I love you very much for it. I wish there were enough words in any language that I can use to describe how much you guys mean to me. We’ve never met, but I will never forget the people who helped me get through one of the toughest times of my life. So, I will just simply say, Thank You! Each and every one of YOU!

At this moment, I have a lot going on in life, but I promised that I would at least post my answers to the questions that you guys have for me. I feel it’s the least I can do. In the future, I will try my best to repost each nomination (if I am blessed to receive any more) because I really want you guys to know how much I appreciate you thinking of me. Out of the millions on blogs, you chose mine. 🙂

If you would like to participate in any of these awards (I strongly encourage that you do), please click the blogger links above for how to participate. Or if you don’t want to participate, click their names anyway. Each blogger that I named above have the most beautiful souls and it illuminates through their writing.

Joann’s Questions: Real Neat Blogger Award

Where are you from? St. Louis, Missouri
Why did you start your blog? I originally started my blog to sell soy wax candles. But then, it started to turn into something different. Now I see that I am supposed to use this platform to motivate and inspire other people who may be going through the same life challenges as I am.
What is your favorite book and why? My favorite book right now is called Shattered Promises. It’s my favorite because he has a lot of actions and it’s sci-fi fiction (which is my fav genre).
What place would you most like to visit in the world? Honestly, Rome. There is so much history I would love to bask myself in. But that answer may change next week after I watch National Geographics.
What is the best place you’ve ever visited? Denver, Colorado. I’ve never met nicer people in my life. Everywhere we went, everyone was pleasant. We didn’t run into one rude person to the entire week we were there.
What is your favorite season? Fall. The weather is always perfect. I feel as though you can really see Gods blessings during the fall. You see in infinite beauty everywhere from the night’s sky to the leaves falling to the ground.
Favorite candy? Black Licorice

Damans Questions: Liebster Award

What is love to you? When I’ve been asked this questions before, I would give a long description, but if I could sum love up in one sentence, it would be, Love is when my husband offers the last of his dessert because he knows how much I love cake.
What brings you to blogging? I’ve always loved blogging, but this is the first time I’ve taken it seriously. I’ve had a couple of failed blogs, but this one has my heart.
What is your favourite word and why! Mvemjsunp because it reminds me of the order that our planets are in.
Why wordpress? It was the very first site I used to start a blog about ten years ago. When I decided to start this one, I used WordPress because I was familiar with it already.
Who is the most important person in your life? I don’t have one particular person. My children and my husband are the most important people. I couldn’t imagine my life without any of them.
White sauce pasta/Red sauce pasta? White. Red gives me indigestion
Who is your present crush? This sounds so cliche, and I laughed out loud when I thought it, but it would have to be Jesus. 🙂 I want to know everything I can about Him. Every time I learn something new, I love Him even more. So, yea, right now, good ole’ Jesus.
Heart/brain? I want to say brain, but my heart is telling me to say heart. 🙂

Gails Questions: The Awesome Blogger Award

If you could travel anywhere, where would it be? Rome
What is your biggest accomplishment? Raising three other human beings.
What is the most amazing blog you’ve ever come across? All of them are really awesome in their way, so I don’t have a favorite. Every blog brings something different “to the table”. There is so much diversity, I love it all.
Chocolate or Lollies? Chocolate
What is the nicest thing you’ve done for someone? I’m not sure how to answer this. Everything I do is out of love. I do it because I need to or want to, not do it because it’s “nice”. So, I don’t know the “nicest” thing I’ve done because I don’t really think about it. Make sense?
How do you stay positive? I try to think of the upside to any situation. There is always a rainbow after every storm. I try to look forward to the rainbow during the storm.
What’s the best advice anyone ever gave you? Someone told me to never give up on writing. That I was too great at it to let it go to waste.
What’s one book you’d always recommend and why? The Bible because it is the best self-help book ever written.
What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? Vanilla bean
What is your dream job? To run my own non-profit organization helping underprivileged children succeed in life through encouragement, self-help classes, and maintaining a healthy diet while providing affordable resources.

Again, thank you all so much.

January 30, 2018January 30, 2018

Quill Commander Award

A few days ago, I was nominated by a wonderful blogger, JGomez, Journey of Reflections for The Quill Commander Award created by Dronstad. Thank you, good sir, for thinking of me. I love how inspirational your blog is and how much love you always show to your readers. Thank you for being awesome sauce! If you have a chance, check out his great blog.

The purpose of this award is to promote patriotism and unify bloggers from different countries through tolerance and appreciation of their nationality.

Unified by our love for writing and reading, this reward is a token of that love.

The rules:

Thank the blogger who nominated you and post a link to their blog
List the rules of the award
Post a photo of your National flag and anthem
Leave a favorite quote
Nominate a few loyal bloggers

One of my favorites quotes is (because of course, I can’t just have one)

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” -Maya Angelou

You guys should know by now that I do not like to nominate any particular blog. I would like to nominate everyone who is reading this. I would love for you all to share 🙂

Thank you all so much for your time.

January 26, 2018January 23, 2018

Black and White Photo Challenge Day 3

I would like to thank the lovely Shreya Jindal for nominating me for this wonderful black and white photo challenge.

Rules are:

Seven days
Seven black and white photos of your life
No people
No explanation
Challenge someone new each day.

I would like to nominate Daman Blog