Hello fellow bloggers,
Sometimes, when dealing with stress, we forget about the goals that we had before those other situations arose. My kids were surprised when I told them I had dreams. Hannah said, “…but moms don’t have dreams. We are your dreams.”
I realized at that moment, that they only know me as, Mom. Not, Ashley the poet, Ashley the dreamer, Ashley the artist, Ashley the super beautiful, super intelligent, super awesome-sauce life giver. 😉☝🏽Just, Mom.😎
I spend so much time doing this and doing that (mom duties) that they haven’t seen me in Ashley mode. Well, in their defense, I haven’t been in Ashley mode in over a year due to mental and physical ailments, but all of that is slowly changing. I am determined to be “me” again, whoever “me” is.
Today, I finally took a step towards developing my candle business. “You make candles, Ashley?” Oh, thanks for asking, and yes, yes I do! It’s so relaxing and I love it. I came up with a bunch of excuses (which we love to do) when it comes to following our dreams:
- I cant afford it
- The candle supply store is too far
- No one is going to buy them
- That money can be used else where
- I’m too busy
- Ain’t nobody got time for that
So today, I took that leap (well my husband drug me) to the candle supply store to buy supplies. Now, I can’t wait to get to work.
I would like to share with you a list of goals that we should try to manifest in our daily lives in order to LIVE our lives to the fullest and accomplish our goals.
I found this list from a wonderful Instagram page dedicated to meditating and love. If you have Instagram, I recommend visiting her page for daily doses of inspiration. You can find her at @meditateandlove. Don’t worry, I took a screenshot of this list before my social media fast. I just found it and was like, “Ooohhh, I don’t know what to blog about, so I’m just going to blog about something that someone else came up with.”
- Meditate to reprogram your mind
- Set a vision/goal board and visualize it
- Be grateful and have faith
- Have a plan
- Acquire necessary skills to get there
- Focus on your goal
- Take action
Thoughts I had after I read this:
🌸“Come on, warrior!” (I call myself warrior when I’m trying to get motivated. Don’t judge me!)
🌸”You got this!”
🌸”Get up, move.”
🌸”Push it, push it, push it.”
🌸”If they can do it (whoever ‘they’ is) then you can do it.”
🌸”Make Jesus proud. He didn’t die for you to moan and cry all the time.”
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men” (Colossians 3:23)
The moral is follow your D.R.E.A.M.S! Do not allow your circumstances to discourage you. My motto is, if you think about a goal that you want to accomplish more than fives times a week, then you need to get off your rump shaker and go for it!🤪👍🏽
“Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy.” -Wayne Gretzky
Mental illness sucks. I’m sitting here trying to come with clever ways to express those three simple words, but all the comes to mind is mental illness sucks. One reason why it sucks is that mental illness will trick you into believing that feelings matter. When, in the grand scheme of things, they do not. For example, mental illness makes me feel like I’m a bad mother for having a mental illness. When the truth is, I’m not. It’s because of mental illness that I am a good mother. I am always conscious of making sure that my children do not experience the harsh realities that come with having a mentally ill parent. I am always aware of their feelings and what may or may not be affecting them.
For me, forgiveness is more about me than it is about you. People chose not to forgive because they feel they may be doing that person a favor or they may feel like that person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. But then there is that word again, feel. If you are having a hard time forgiving someone, ask yourself…what great feeling do you have when you chose not to forgive? Do you feel better or worse? Do you feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders or do you feel angry and bitter?
Feelings should have nothing to do with doing the right thing. For example, saying hurtful words feels so good when I’m angry. When I become angry, my mind begins to fill with horrible thoughts. It’s like I am possessed. I am capable of saying some pretty awful things. When I’m angry, it feels great to say those awful things…until I calm down. Then I feel like the worst person in the world. I then, begin to obsess about how to make it right. Thus, resulting in an obsessive cycle of beating myself up. All because I felt angry. When in fact, my feelings should not cause me to want to hurt someone else. God says:
Right now, I feel overwhelmed and hopeless. I feel like I am never going to move past these moments of dread and disparity. I feel like I am losing the war that is going on in my mind and body, but guess what? Those are just feelings. They are not my reality. We have to hold on to the fact that feelings do not define our truth, they do not reflect our reality. They just simply reflect our mind frame. We have to keep reminding ourselves that we are more than what we are feeling at the moment. Moments are periods of time that have a beginning and an end. Moments can last for seconds or for years, but we are not meant to set up permanent residence in said moments. We are meant to live life, embracing those moments so we can learn and grow from them. What do you do when you are done reading a chapter in a book? You move on to the next chapter, right? Moments are chapters in your book of life. Don’t stay stuck in one chapter because you feel trapped or hopeless.
1. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
So this moment of joy that I’ve just experienced was brought by one small memory. Picture this, 12-year-old Ashley, feeling unloved and unwanted by her loved ones. While struggling with the developments of puberty (but then again, who didn’t struggle with puberty?). My boyfriend (very 1st) introduced me to the sweet sounds of Boyz II Men. I will never forget hearing…
Since that moment, I became obsessed. I consider myself one of the biggest Boyz II Men fans in the world. There are very few celebrities that I would stop traffic for, Jesus, Leonardo Decaprio, and Boyz II Men. I developed a connection with this group because they got me through a lot! They were with me when the depression began to rear its ugly head. They convinced me to forgive when my boyfriend broke my heart. They told me to forgive my mother when I was upset with her. They taught me I am worthy to be loved. They taught me to love God and most importantly, love myself. Every song, every melody, every precious note that hit my hear was inspiring my soul.
point! This post is taking way too long to read.” Either way, I wanted to completely stop what I was doing to tell you that you are loved. You deserve to be treated like the king/queen that you are. Live every moment of your life feeling every positive emotion that you can; happiness, joy, hope, serenity, kindness, gratitude. Remember the awesome things that make you, you.
Oddly enough, I’ve never been upset with them. I know it is hard to be friends with someone who suffers from severe depression and bipolar disorder. We can be unpredictable. How can I expect anyone to understand what I am going through if I don’t even understand what I’m going through? I mean, honestly, I don’t expect anyone to put up with it. A person can only take so much rejection. Maybe, I’ve never pursued a failed friendship because I know they do not deserve to be shut out of my life just because I’m going through a rough time.
I do have one friend, that no matter how long I go without talking to her, she never gives up on me. She’ll constantly call and harass me until I reply. Even if weeks go by without a word. Somehow, she’s always there. One time, I tried to purposely push her away. At the time, I was unable to see past my own issues and felt she would be better off without me as a friend, but she is relentless. She is a like my husband farts; no matter how far you go to get away, she still lingers. I love her to pieces and sometimes I feel I don’t deserve her. She never reads my blogs post, so she’ll never know much I love her being so dang annoying 🙂
If you are friends with someone who suffers from a mental illness, please have patience with them. It is not an excuse, but during manic moments, we are not ourselves. Our brains are trying to make sense of the rapid emotions flowing through our body and our mind. Everything feels right but wrong. The sun is shining 24 hours out of the day, while the nights’ dark skies gloom in the background. Up is down and everywhere is nowhere.
We all know the tragedies that have been happening in the world. Some of us ask, why? Some of us are unable to comprehend the magnitude of such events. And some of us are so distraught, we don’t know what to think.
For some time now, I’ve been wanting to blog daily. At first, it seemed like an unattainable goal. Now, after hard work and meeting most of the previous goals that I have set for myself, now I feel that God is telling me that I’m ready. I mean, it’s not like I don’t have anything to talk about. My mind is always racing with ideas, stories, and more ideas. Even if I was unable to come up with anything to blog about, my life is interesting enough with three little people running around. I’m sure that I would be able to come up with great material for you fine folks.
I procrastinate because, well, honestly, sometimes I just don’t feel like it. Especially when I’m sick, and especially ESPECIALLY when everyone in my house is sick and all I want to do is get some sleep…just a wink of rest. But then how I can ask, no, BEG God to bless me when I’m whining about getting sleep? Sounds foolish when I think about it. It’s like God saying, “Ashley, go buy a lottery ticket. You’re going to win.” And I’m like, *in my whiney child-like voice* “…but Lord, I’m tired. Can I go later?” What sense does that make? He’s trying to give me some money and I’m whining.
I want to be like Abraham. If you don’t know, God asked this man to not only travel, I believe three days (walking distance) away from home, but he wanted him to kill his own son as a sacrifice (Genesis 22:2-3) Crazy, right? But Abraham obeyed without hesitation. He packed up his stuff, grabbed a couple of servants, some supplies, and his son, Isaac, and headed off. Right when Abraham was about to stab Isaac, an Angel screamed out for him to stop. God told Abraham that he has proven his faith and because of it, God wants him to sacrifice a ram instead (Genesis 22:10-12). How awesome is that? Honestly, I couldn’t have done it. My faith is so weak right now, I would’ve been like, “Ok, Lord, I know I didn’t hear that right. So I’m just going to ignore it.” 
Picture me, sliding across a wooden floor in white tube socks like Tom Cruise in Top Gun, because I just realized I’m at 365 followers!
As I lay on your chest while hearing the song of your heartbeat, I reflect on the life that we have together. Who knew that five years ago, God would bless me 😇with someone who would heal all of my wounds from the inside out. 
You were made for me and I was made for you. We finish each other sentences. I know what you want before you even ask. My soul is directly connected to yours.☯️
Thank you for being the best husband a lady could pray for you. You have exceeded my expectations of what a loving husband is and it is all thanks to our Heavenly Father. 
We have been through the trenches of hell together and because of it, our bond and love have been transformed into a foundation that cannot be destroyed by anyone or anything.
You have loved my children as if they were your own and you have blessed me with a mini-you👶🏽that has all of your most beautiful qualities.
Saying I love you will never be enough to fully express the gratitude and admiration that I have for you. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for setting an example for our children of what real love looks like. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Most importantly, thank you for loving me for me. 😘
Healing with Harotian 