Do You Have High Self-Worth or High Self-Esteem?

Hello Friends,

Yesterday, I gave an example of how I struggle with self-worth (click HERE). Many people do not realize that there is a difference between self-worth and self-esteem. Self-esteem is how much you THINK you’re worth, while self-worth is what you are ACTUALLY worth.

The world will trick you into believing that self-esteem is more important than self-worth. Self-esteem is measured by what you have financially, economically, socially, and physically. While self-worth is measured by the fact that God sacrificed his only son so that we can be saved from eternal damnation.

Let’s go over the facts…

God created everything (Genesis 1)…

God created man to rule over all creatures of the earth (Genesis 1:26)

God provides food and water for all plants and animals on earth (Psalm 147:8-9) We see proof of this everytime we walk outside and hear birds chirping, leaves blowing in the wind, grass sprouting in our front yards, and sunrise/sunsets.

If he loves even the smallest creatures enough to provide food for them to survive, then can you imagine how much he loves the creatures that he put in charge of said small plants and animals? He even loves those ugly bugs that you see in the seal of your window during the summer months.

It shouldn’t matter what others think of us because the world has a bad habit of lowering our self-esteem in order to make itself feel better. For some reason, people only feel better about themselves when others feel worse about themselves. It’s a paradox that has us stuck in a cruel cycle.

Here are ways that you can FIND YOUR SELF WORTH

Know your strengths and weakness
- Related Post: Weakness Is Strength
- What comes easily to you?
- What would you like to do?
Become more aware of yourself
- remove distractions
- stop comparing yourself to other people
- try to face the hard truths about yourself
Be courageous
- Related Post: Why You Should Believe You’ll Be Just Fine
- face your fears
- be honest about your likes/dislikes
- find what motivates you/discourages you
Learn and reflect on your past and present mistakes to make a better future
- understand that self-awareness is a lifelong journey
- ask yourself-
- - What happened?
- - What could I have done better?
- - Where did I go wrong?
- - Where did I go right?
- - What I can do better next time?
Try new things
- embrace the word “yes”
- go outside of your comfort zone

Find the oppurtunities that exist. Create the ones that don’t

Use all of your available resources
- internet
- textbooks
Improve yourself by investing in yourself
- Related Post: Unapologetically Living Life
Think, Reflect, Accept, Action
Ask yourself- What’s affecting your awareness of self-worth?
Avoid negative thoughts
- Related Post: Journey to Forgiving Yourself
- Retrain your thoughts
- See yourself as God sees you
Connect with other positive people
- Related Post: How I Got Rid of Toxic People In My Life
- join a small or large group
Create attainable goals:
- Related Post: Steps to Manifesting Your Goals
- Check them off one by one
- It doesn’t matter how big of a step you take, as long as it’s in the right direction

Thank you all for reading my thoughts. I pray that each and every one of you allow God to show you His awesome love so you can know that you are more than worthy of it. Please remember to pray for one another and I pray that you are having a wonderful start to your Tuesday.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -Psalm 139:14

**pictures belong to google**

August 20, 2018August 18, 2018

Questioing Self-Worth

It wasn’t until recently I noticed that I thought I was undeserving of nice things. An opportunity came up where my family and I was offered to sublease a really nice condo from a fellow church member. Her home was really, really nice. It is a lot nicer than my current home and in a way better neighborhood.

After viewing her home, anxiety set it. It was heavy anxiety. The kind that kept me up at night. I couldn’t put my finger on why I felt so uncomfortable. I loved her home. I loved the space, the funky wallpaper, the furniture, the animals, even the backyard. I loved the neighborhood, the school district for my children, and even the private parking space.

So, why did I feel uncomfortable? When I walked into my apartment after viewing hers, I looked around to see the broken light fixture that apartment management has taken weeks to come by and fix. I look at the broken screen door leading out to the patio and the small cluttered space that has my family basically living on top of each other.

I was confused. The opportunity to sublease her nice home compared to staying in my broken down apartment should have made me happy. So why wasn’t I?

Then I became conscious of a recurring thought that I’ve been having for most of my life, subsequently, I was never aware of it. It was a lightbulb moment. I was thinking why would someone like me deserve a nice home like that?

When I became aware of this thought, I was genuinely shocked. Why wouldn’t I be deserving of a nice home? I mean, of course, I am, right? I immediately asked myself, what kind of person thinks like this? Then the answer quickly came to me. The kind of person who has done so much wrong, they feel like they can never be redeemed. The kind of person who feels like they are deserving of every bad thing that happens in their life because of shameful acts from the past. The kind of person who doesn’t believe that their sins died on the cross with Jesus.

Wow! What a wake-up call. There are so many negative feelings that I continue to work through on a daily basis. It’s crazy how thoughts and emotions have been embedded into our psyche that has the ability to prevent is from accepting God’s blessings in our lives.

I’m being reminded on a daily basis that feelings of shame, guilt, and regret have to be fought continuously. One day I’ll feel forgiven and the next day, I’ll feel unworthy of all things good in life. Sometimes I even look at my children and wonder how they can love someone like me.

The way I see it, I am grateful that I am now aware of these feelings. Now I can be proactive about retraining my mind and thoughts to know that I am worthy of a nice home and other things that God wants to bless me with.

Thank you all for reading my thoughts. I pray that you guys see that how wonderful you are and that you too are worthy of Gods awesome blessings. Please remember to pray for one another.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” -August Wilson

August 14, 2018October 9, 2018

Progress, Not Perfection

Good Day Everyone!

Wow, it feels great to write again. I had to take a break in order to concentrate on the things that are truly important, my family. I know what you’re thinking…Ashley, you’ve sung this same song before in Goodbye For Now and then came back a week later…But this time was different. 🙂 When I would take breaks, I would come back prematurely. This last time, I had to really focus on my family. They needed me and I needed them.

This past winter, my primary goal was to become healthier, physically and mentally. During that journey, I become selfish (which was much needed). I had to concentrate on my health so I could take care of my family and with Gods help, that is exactly what happened.

I feel so much better than I did earlier this year. Please read some of my stories to understand some of the emotional and physical hurt I was going through.

I’ve continued to seek God and as he promised, he has taken care of me. I no longer think about suicide or hurting myself as an option when I experience extreme stress. With the help of Jesus, medication, and family support, I can officially say I am doing great.

Don’t get me wrong, there are days that are really hard. There are days that I wake up extremely sad and unable to explain why. There are days that the Evil One tries to penetrate my thoughts with past guilt, shame, and worthlessness, but then I remember the promises of God.

I am LOVED – John 14:23
I am WORTHY – Psalm 139:13-15
I am FORGIVEN – Ephesians 4:32
I am HIS – 1 John 4:4

And guess what?

YOU ARE, TOO!

My kids started school today and it hit me, life is really happening. They are at a tender age where they see and understand everything that I do. They have started to ask “why” questions. Why are you crying, mom? Why can’t you leave the bed, mom? Why does your body hurt? And with help, those questions have been less frequent thanks to our Abba Faher. Plus, Jesus is so wonderful.

So, my new goal is to get back to the goals that I had before I became ill.

Grow my blog
Serve my family
Serve Gods people

Thank you all for reading my thoughts and continuing my journey with me. It is so important to me that you guys see the growth that happens when one commits themselves to become healthy by any means necessary; God, medication (optional) and support. Remember, progress is important, not perfection.

I pray you all are having a wonderful start to your week. I cannot wait to share with you the things that I have learned during my hiatus. Until then, love you all and remember to pray for one another.

But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world. -1 John 4:4

June 6, 2018June 6, 2018

Being Eeyore At A Tigger Party

Hello Friends,

If you are unfamiliar, Eeyore is a character in the Winnie-the-Pooh books by A. A. Milne. He is well known for his gloomy, depressed personality. Truthfully speaking, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized why Eeyore was my favorite character out of all the others. I could relate. No matter what was going on, he was sad. The difference between Eeyore and I was that I felt the need to mask my sadness, even as a child.

I remember being told a few times throughout my life that “no one wanted to be around someone who was sad all of the time.” This forced me to put on such “mask” because I didn’t want to be shunned by society. Honestly, I love people. I love the energy that people provide, I love their smiles, I love helping them when they are in need, I love humanity as a whole. So, I did what I had to do to be a part of society. I hid. Hiding created anxiety because I didn’t want to be discovered. I didn’t want anyone; family, friends, co-workers, God…to see my sadness. I needed everyone to know I was ok, like everyone else. But let me tell you, once you suppress something long enough, it would eventually bubble to the surface. Trust me.

Recently, I’ve been faced with social anxiety. My sadness has reared it’s ugly head and I can no longer contain it with my own strength (if you guys haven’t been able to notice), thus causing extreme anxiety. Sadness is not something I can’t control, nor is it something that I voluntarily chose to have (like some would like to think). This is why it is called a “mental illness”.

My church started offering a social event called, Parents Connect. It’s a night where parents come together once a month, without their children, and socialize. I tried to attend the first event. I drove the twelve minutes to get there, grabbed my purse, stepped out of my car, checked the rearview mirror to see if I had anything on my face, walked to the door, and looked through the window like a creep. I suddenly felt the need to turn around and run (which I did, well more of a fast paced walked). My palms became sweaty, I began to shake and tremble. It was horrible. It was the beginning of a full-blown anxiety attack. I saw all of those parents who were well dressed, smiling, laughing, enjoying themselves. Honestly, I just felt like I wouldn’t fit in. So, I ran. Sat in my car for the next hour reading a book…in the church parking lot because I was too ashamed to come home and tell my husband that I couldn’t handle it.

How did Eeyore do it? How was he so sad all of the time, yet was able to have fun with Tigger and the rest of his friends during social events? If you are unfamiliar with Tigger, he is also a character in Winnie-the-Pooh. His personality was very exuberant, friendly, and energetic. The complete opposite of Eeyore. I believe the reason why Eeyore was able to be sad but still have friends was that he didn’t put on a mask. He didn’t have to suppress his sadness because that’s just who he was. He accepted it and his friends did too.

Which brings me to my next point, anxiety just isn’t anxiety. Anxiety is the result of a deeper, rooted issue. For me, my rooted issue is fear. Fear of being discovered. Fear of judgement. Fear of rejection. When I saw the other parents living it up like it was 1999, I was afraid. I was afraid that I would walk in like Eeyore at a Tigger party, except they would judge me or treat me like a leaper because “no one likes to be around a person who is sad all of the time.” So I ran and spent time with the only person I knew wouldn’t judge me; Jesus. If you thought I was going to say myself, that would have been a whole lie because I judge myself all of the time.

I’ve been feeling really anxious lately, but then God revealed to me it is due to fear. Once I thought about it, I couldn’t help but agree. I am truly afraid. I’m afraid all of the time. I’m afraid for my children’s future. I’m afraid of what people may say about my appearance or health. I’m afraid of certain family members and their judgement. I’m afraid of the choices I’ve made and the result of them. I’m afraid that I may never get better. Any of this sound familiar? If not, it wouldn’t surprise me that I’m the only crazy worrying about this kind of nonsense because let’s be honest, who cares what people think? Or better yet, why do I care? Because I’ve always cared. It’s been a driving factor in my life to do well and be in the “elite class” of humanity. And when I fall short, I am judged, thus creating fear. I wish I wasn’t like this. I pray every day for the Lord to take it away, but then if I don’t have it, will I still have the passion that I have for humanity as a whole? Ok, I think I’m going down a rabbit hole with this one.

Louie Giglio, a pastor at Passion City Church, wrote, “The antidote to fear is faith, and the soundtrack of faith is worship.” When we are feeling fearful or anxious, this is the time to draw closer to God.

We must remind ourselves that he is able by refocusing on him and his plan for our lives. Did you know that in the Bible, God tells us to “fear not” 366 times? That’s every day of the year including leap year. Fear and anxiety is not something we are supposed to carry.

It is easy to say, I will not let fear reign over me when it feels like my chest has an elephant sitting on it. I have to remind myself that God says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

I know his plans for me aren’t to walk around in fear, that’s what Satan wants. He is not of God of fear, but a God of mercy and righteousness. His gift of grace does not include fear, anxiety, depression, addiction, anger, hopelessness, rejection, nor judgment. Those are the enemies tricks and lies.

But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law, as was promised in the writings of Moses^[a] and the prophets long ago. ²²We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.

²³For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.²⁴Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. -Romans 3:21-24

Next time you feel anxious about anything, I recommend you to do two things: (1.) Find the root of the anxiety so whatever fruit you bear will be free of it (2.) Draw nearer to Jesus because he bore that fear and punishment for you on the cross. Give it to God!

Remember, as I stated Prayer Is The Best Medicine. Pray for yourself, pray for others, pray for those in need, which is everyone! We all need Jesus. I love you all and have a wonderful day.

May 25, 2018May 24, 2018

Funny Friday: Why You Should Make Love Once A Year

Hey Friends,

So, I’ve been M.I.A (missing in action) for the past few days due to a Lupus flare and a couple of other health issues, but the Lord has been good to me the entire time (as he promises) and your girl is almost back to 100% tip-top shape. Just in time for…

Funny Friday!!!

So, please enjoy today’s joke brought to you by www.RD.com. I pray that each and every one of you is having a wonderful start to your weekend and please don’t forget to have a Funny Friday! 🙂

Why You Should Make Love Once A Year

A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “Once a week?” A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. “Once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?”

One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked—this disproves his theory. “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “why are you so happy?”

The man yells, “Today’s the day!”

May 18, 2018May 18, 2018

Funny Friday: The Man and Ostrich

Namaste Friends!

Is it Friday already? I guess it is cause I have a joke for you! I hope everyone is having a wonderful start to their weekend. Please enjoy today’s Funny Friday by SunnyDayz.com

A Guy Walks Into A Restaurant With A Full-Grown Ostrich Behind Him…

The waitress asks for their orders. The guy says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”

“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $18.40 please.” The man reaches into his pocket and, without looking, pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the guy and the ostrich come again and the guy says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke.”

The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”

Again the guy reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until one night they enter the restaurant and the waitress asks, “The usual?”

“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad”, says the guy.

“Me too,” says the ostrich.

The waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $42.62.”

Once again the guy pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the guy, “several years ago I was cleaning my attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the guy.

The waitress asks, “But, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”

The guy sighs and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.”

May 17, 2018May 17, 2018

The Walking Dead: Ashley Edition

Hello Friends,

So, I’m a little frustrated, to say the least. I made the “mistake” of letting my psychiatrist know that I was having trouble sleeping. So, he did what most psychiatrist would do and prescribed a medication to help with not just depression and anxiety, but insomnia. Its called Sertraline, or commonly known as Zoloft. Right now, I am taking 50mg and he would like for me to increase that to 100mg in two weeks.

I’m frustrated because I am so tired. No, no, no…more like exhausted. I’m walking around like a freaking corpse. I feel like I’m an extra on The Walking Dead.

Right now, I would win an Oscar for best zombie performance in a series. I’m dozing off typing this right now.

I called my doctor today to let him know that I can’t do this. Like, come on man. I have things to do. I have a blog to run, kids to take care of, a house to clean. I can’t spend 20 hours of my day sleeping. It’s so bad, I’m having my husband drive me around because I am afraid I will fall asleep at the wheel.

He originally told me that it could take four to six weeks for my body to become properly adjusted to the medication. So, I just have to hold on strong until then. For now, please pray that I have the energy and strength to get my daily task done and not fall asleep while washing dishes or doing laundry or anything for that matter.

If you are taking medication to help with a condition that you are having, most likely, you are dealing with side effects. I encourage you to be patient during the process of your body adjusting. Some medications come with some pretty severe side effects, so I recommend talking to your physician about them.

The worst thing you can do is to just stop taking them. For anti-depressants, if you immediately stop taking them, you are subject to psychosis and that is a big no-no. Although I am extremely annoyed and frustrated by this process, I know that it is going to help me in the long run. I just have to be patient. If not, I plan on working closely with my healthcare team to make sure we come up with a plan that works for me. I encourage you to do that same.

Thank you so much for reading my thoughts. I pray that you are having a wonderful evening (morning for my overseas friends). I appreciate every like, comment, and share. Stay blessed!

May 16, 2018May 16, 2018

May is Mental Health Awareness

Hey Friends,

So, last week I blogged about how May is Lupus Awareness Month, but many of you may know that it is also Mental Health Awareness month. Fortunately, I struggle with both Lupus and mental illness.

Yep! You read that correctly, I said “fortunately”. Why would I feel fortunate to have both a physical illness and a mental illness? It doesn’t make sense. I must be plum crazy right?

We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us. -2 Corinthians 1:7

Well, if it weren’t for my current circumstance, I would have never found a reason to draw closer to the Lord. Some people like to call it “hitting rock bottom”. I became so depressed, I had no other choice but to seek God’s grace and beg for him to either take the illness’ away or help me cope with it.

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. -1 Thessalonians 5:18

Why You Should Believe You’ll Be Just Fine

In January 2010, I joined the United States Army. At the time, I was married to my first husband. Hannah and Rj were only 3 and 1 at the time. It was such a hard decision for me, but because of the Army’s benefits, I felt as though it was the best decision for my family. So, I signed up to fight for my country.

During MOS (military occupational specialty) training, while on an FTX (field training exercise), I fractured both sides of my hips and basically wore down the cartilage in my knees. So because I had served less than a year, the US Amry said, “thanks for your service, but you’re no longer needed” and sent my butt home. I was Rick James, for real.

My pride and self-worth were hurt because I felt like the biggest failure. On top of the fact that I can longer justify why I left my kids.

When I returned home and healed a bit, I had to meet with my commanding officers to discuss the honorable discharge that I had received. That is when my sergeant had notified me that as soon as I would have graduated from MOS training, my unit was being deployed to Afghanistan for 12 months.

Talk about relief! My self-pity immediately turned into gratitude. Although I wasn’t able to be a US Army soldier like I originally planned, I wasn’t about to be deployed neither. I later found out that a few of my battle buddies didn’t return home. Y’all, that could have been me!

What’s my point, you ask? Ok, let me get to it before this turns into a novel.

Sometimes in life, we put ourselves down when we are unable to accomplish the goals that we set for ourselves. We become discouraged and even feel worthless. But unbeknownst to us, God is really saving us from disaster. Whether it’s a relationship, marriage, friendship, job opportunity, etc. You never know that the Lord is doing behind the scenes in our lives. This is why we have to trust Him and know that His plan for us is more extravagant than any plan we can possibly have for ourselves.

The Good Book says,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” -Proverbs 3:5-6

This verse has been my anchor, especially during this season of my life. I do not understand why things are happening the way that they are happening, but I trust the Lord with all of my heart to not only get me through this season but allow me to become healed.

Things may not make sense to you right now, but trust that God will not only pull you through, but you will come out of the other end stronger. I am living proof!

Stay blessed friends!

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” -Jeremiah 29:11

April 17, 2018April 17, 2018

7 Reasons Why We Avoid Progress

Hello Friends!

Have you ever been afraid to become a better you? That sounds crazy right. You’re probably saying, “why would someone be afraid of progressing in life?” We would like to think that we want and need progression in our lives, but very few people will admit to being afraid of it. I know I am.

I so desperately want to get better, feel better, and do better. So why does the thought of “being a better me” frighten me so much? There must be something wrong with me, right? WRONG!

Ron Edmondson is a church leader and pastor of Immanuel Baptist Chruch and is an avid believer in Jesus. I was introduced to him by one of my church elders and leader of the group that I’m in called Crash the Chatterbox, Bert.

Bert gave our class a handout that explained why we are afraid of progress written by Ron Edmondson. When I first read it, I thought the same thing you said, “Why would anyone be afraid of progress?” But then I started reading. The reasons he stated makes sense and has transformed my perception, so hopefully, it’ll transform yours as well. Let’s do this!

7 Reasons We Avoid Progress by Ron Edmondson

It stretches us– Progress will lead to unchartered territories; areas that you have never been in before. The unknown can be scary
It invites us– Progress loves to create interest in new activities and circumstances. In order to fuel and maintain the momentum, one must embrace the continuous change that is going to happen.
You HAVE to improve– Progress requires more energy and effort as it progresses. Keep in mind, “You have to get better to get bigger.”
It’s often messy– I like to say, “Anything worth having is going to require a fight.” If it were easy, everyone would be rich, everyone would be successful, everyone would have the spouse of there dreams.
It often defies logic or boundaries– Think about this, 100 years ago, you would have been locked up in an insane asylum if you told them that is it possible to pick up a device, put it to your ear, and talk to someone 2,000 miles away in 30 seconds? Sometimes, stepping outside of the box will take you further than staying in it.
It invites competition– “Show people a little progress and someone will want to join the fun!” -Bert V. In today’s social media infested society, it seems that everyone is losing their individuality to become more like celebrities, and the celebrities are copying each other. So, maybe, if you progress, then others would want that for themselves, too.
It begs for more– This couldn’t be truer. One time I thought to myself, “Ugh! Blogging requires so much time and attention, and I need my naps, soooo…. maybe this is something I don’t want to do. I’m glad I didn’t listen to myself but instead listened to God. I sounded stupid. Blogging has become my safe haven, my beach, my getaway. Why would I deprive myself of such harmony just because I need naps? Don’t be a turd in a hot tub, floating around, waiting to get flushed. Nurture what nurtures you.

Reading over this broadened my perception. I didn’t know that I was afraid of progressing until I said, “Yea, I’m afraid of that” to most of the reasons. I was like the chicken in the video clip. A part of improving, unfortunately, is taking a really good look at yourself. Not your outer appearance, but your soul. And you may not like what you see. I surely don’t! But you know what, it is very much worth it.

I love the feeling that I have when I know I’m improving myself. I feel great when I know something that I have struggling with is now no longer a concern. All it took what a hard look, a little vodka, and a whole lotta Jesus. Joking about the vodka, cause boy, I wish.

Anyway, thank you so so much for reading my thoughts. I appreciate all of the love that is shown to me and I love each and every one you in Jesus name. Stay blessed, family.

PS…sorry for all of the cute furry animals. I wanted to use furry cuteness to represent my mood, but I think all it’s going to do is make you guys go…

“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.” -Benjamin Franklin

April 11, 2018April 11, 2018

💙❤️💛💚Dancing To Your Own Beat: Autism Awareness💙❤️💛💚

Autism Awareness Month

The word Autism has been coming up more and more in our society for about 30 years now, but what is it exactly?

💙❤️💛💚💙❤️💛💛💚❤️💛💛💙❤️💛💚💙❤️

It wasn’t until 2011 that I began to learn what Autism was and how it was about to change my life dramatically. My baby boy, RJ, was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder in 2013 when he turned five years old. When he was diagnosed, I had already prepared myself, at least I thought. Honestly, there wasn’t anything that could have prepared me for such an emotional journey. By the time RJ turned one years old, we noticed Rj’s speech and motor skills weren’t developing like they should have been. He wasn’t able to speak until he was almost two years old, which delayed not only his speech but language.

When RJ began preschool, we immediately connected with the special school district in our neighborhood so he could receive additional learning services, such as an IEP (Individualized Education Program) for social/emotional development, speech and language, and fine motor development. Since then, RJ has thrived and excelled in every area of reading, language, math, etc. You could understand 50% of his verbiage by the time he was five years old and now you can’t get him to be quiet. He struggled for a while, but my baby boy is so smart. He has and continues to overcome every obstacle in his way.

Ok, I’m going to brag a little bit. My RJ is a master builder at legos. I have seen this kid build a 250 piece complex Dinosaur lego set in less than 2 hours. It takes me that long to read the instructions. 😉 He loves history. He can tell you most of the important facts about the Titanic; specs of the ship, size, number of survivors, date it sank, date it was built, etc. It’s truly impressive to hear him speak about all of the interesting details of historical moments way before his time. He is a wonderful, patient big and little brother. He has more patience than anyone I know. It takes him a lot to get frustrated or to even cry. He is an amazing helper and loves, loves, loves Godzilla. He is truly an amazing kid. ❤️

That being said I would like to dedicate the month of April to my Rj. Although he “dances to a different beat”, he is one of the best dancers I know (I have hours of video to prove it). And I cannot wait to see what God has in store for our little wonder.

So for the next few posts, I want to talk about how to understand Autism and how we can help our loved ones who see the world in a brighter way. Since I like to go on and on (blah, blah, blah), I thought maybe breaking it up into multiple posts would give you guys shorter post to read (🚨blogging advice alert🚨).

Anyway, thanks for reading my thoughts and allowing me to introduce you to one of the loves of my life. I hope we are all able to learn new information from each other throughout this journey.

Please feel free to drop a comment below to share an experience or relationship you have with someone who is Autistic. Or maybe you have a question about Autism that you would like for me to answer in my future post.

Please read Rj’s First Fist Fight…And Im A Little Proud! to learn more about RJ and our response to his first fight. It’ll surprise you!

Love you all and stay blessed!

💙❤️💛💚💙❤️💛💛💚❤️💛💛💙❤️💛💚💙❤️

“Everyone has a mountain to climb and autism has not been my mountain, it has been my opportunity for victory.” –Rachel Barcellona

Autism images borrowed from google pics

March 10, 2018March 8, 2018

NatGeo #3

Hey Friends!

If you’re new to my blog, please visit NatGeo and NatGeo #2 to see the previous photos. Every week, National Geographic magazine post the most beautiful photos of our earth and its occupants that are captured by very talented people from all over the world. At the end of the week, they’ll post a segment called The Most Compelling Photos of the Week. I’ve been a fan of NatGeo since I was a small child and their photos have always been my favorite part of the magazine.

So here’s what I’m thinking, since I’ve received so much positive feedback when post National Geographic, maybe this can be a regular thing. We’ll see. Until then, please enjoy! You find can find more of their photos here.

In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks. -John Muir

February 1, 2018January 31, 2018

Time for A Celebration!

Picture me, sliding across a wooden floor in white tube socks like Tom Cruise in Top Gun, because I just realized I’m at 365 followers!

All of you, each and every one, is awesome sauce for hitting that follow button. You guys are the real MVP’s, seriously. You inspire me everyday with your blog post, likes, comments, award nomination, etc. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

In celebration, I would like to share the wealth. I want each of you guys to know each other. Most of us follow the same blogs, but here is a chance to meet someone knew. I’ve meet remarkable people with different religions, backgrounds, ethnicity, etc. Its been a beautiful experience. I encourage you guys to do the same.

My favorite feature of the WordPress community is we all have at least two things in common; we’re all human and we all have something to say. I love that I can share my thoughts and struggles without being judged for my race or social class. I’m just one person amongst billions trying to make it through life.

I came across a wonderful blog, CharlieCountryBoy and he reblogged a wonderful idea from Dream Big, Dream Often blog that says IF YOU DROP A LINK IN MY COMMENTS, I WILL REPOST YOUR BLOG! And I want to participate.

So, I want to you to drop a link of your blog in the comments below. I will reblog it on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I will also try to remember to reblog this for any new followers.

Let’s all help each other. Drop the link below to get a little exposure. We’re all here for a reason, right?

Stay blessed loved ones! And thanks again!

January 31, 2018January 31, 2018

Black and White Photo Challenge Day 7

I would like to thank the lovely Shreya Jindal for nominating me for this wonderful black and white photo challenge.

Rules are:

Seven days
Seven black and white photos of your life
No people
No explanation
Challenge someone new each day.

Thank you so much for sticking with me though this challenge. It was a little difficult because almost everything in my life has an explanation in it or people in it. I guess that’s what made it a challenge. 😉❤️

January 31, 2018April 11, 2018

How I Got Rid of Toxic People In My Life

hb1tf1a About ten years ago, I allowed a close family member to break my heart. So, much so, I was bedridden with grief for about two days. It was hard for me to overcome because I couldn’t wrap my head around why she would betray me. I didn’t do anything to her to deserve it. She saw an opportunity to take advantage of my kindness and took off with it like she was Usain Bolt. It left me feeling worthless because, at the time, I truly felt like she genuinely wanted to build a relationship with me. It was all I was praying for; understanding and love from someone I grew up with.

42-23039081 Needless to say, that wasn’t the case. Fast forward to 2017, this same person needed my help again. I should have said no. She is a toxic person. You couldn’t deny the energy in the room turning sour once she entered it. It was a stench that you couldn’t ignore. She was someone that couldn’t be trusted, but I thought that was in the past. So I helped. Sometimes, I ask myself why did I bother. She would only turn around and do the exact same thing she did years prior. This time, it hit me even harder. I was already going through and hard time and bam! Here she was with her shenanigans.

At the beginning of this post, I said I allowed her to break my heart. I say I allowed it because I feel that people will only do to you what YOU allow them to do. I knew how she was (both times), but I thought that she had grown into a better person. I was wrong. She played me like a cheap violin. While she was basking in the glory of my pain, I was letting out the real pain of betrayal and heartache.

I had to figure out, what does God say about toxic people? How do I NOT allow them to affect me so much? What do I do about them? How do I get “over it”? I prayed every day to become the kind of person to brush things off as easily as she brushed me off, but I had to learn to get through it and here is how.

I came across a book that would answer most of my questions. It’s called How God Sees Your Struggles by Lynn R. Davis. In the first chapter, she makes explains how God wants us to handle toxic people and their foolishness. Below are the lessons that I learned to get rid of her and other toxic people in my life and here is how you can too:

Stop allowing yourself to get worked up about what other people think, say, or believe about you.

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict; walk away. The battle they are fighting isn’t with you. It is with themselves.” -Anonymous

You are a beautiful creation of God. The only opinion that matters is His and His alone. God wants you to know that you were not created to be abused, used, mistreated, or mocked.

“What is the price of two sparrows-one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid ; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows?” -Matthew 10:29-31

You will never have peace if you do not overcome your need to please people and expect to maintain your health, peace, and sanity.
Do not allow yourself to get sucked in by other peoples foolishness.
Do not allow them to pollute your faith.

“Unfriendly people care only about themselves; they lash out at common sense. Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.” -Proverbs 18:1-2

Toxic people will try to make you stoop down to their level. Do not allow them to do this. It will only cause more stress and heartache for you in the end. Although it’s hard, walk away. Only speak in love, let it go, walk away, and pray for them. They are miserable, not you. Give it all to God.
Do not waste your time and tears on toxic people. If you do, you will never have peace. Only God can change their hearts.

“When a wise man has controversy with a foolish man, the foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest.” -Proverbs 29:9.

Stay encouraged for doing the right thing. As long as your heart is right with God, so will your actions. Don’t worry yourself about how to get back at the people that attack you. God will deal with them as He sees fit.

“The way of the Lord is a stronghold to those with integrity, but it destroys the wicked.” -Proverbs 10:29

Toxic people bring destruction on themselves. Spend time in prayer and meditation so you don’t allow yourself to get sucked up in their chaos. Once you’re sucked in, it’s hard to get out. You will then find yourself reaping the benefits of their turmoil.

After following the do’s and don’ts of dealing with toxic people, I can say that I have peace. I love my close family member, as I should, but that is as far as our relationship goes. I pray that she is able to let go whatever is causing her so much misery, but until then, I can’t deal with her and now that I know my worth, I refuse to. I used to feel bad about it, but now I don’t. God says that I have to love her and pray for her. He doesn’t say anything about me taking abuse from her or anyone else. Sometimes I have to ask God to give me the desire to pray for her. That way, I can heal from her destruction and move on.

I hope you are able to let go of the toxic people in your life. Trust me, you will be better off. If you are interested in reading her book, you can find it on Amazon by clicking HERE. You can read it for free by downloading the 30-Day free trial Kindle Unlimited by clicking HERE. It’s worth it and honestly, this is how I was able to read it. Thank you for reading my thoughts. God bless you all.