funny fridays

April 13, 2018April 11, 2018

Funny Friday: Kids Giving Life Advice

Hey Friends,

Welcome to Friday!! What an honor and blessing to see such a wonderful day. Please enjoy today’s Funny Friday brought to you by Surfer Sam. I pray each of you is having a beautiful, blessed day.

CHILDREN TELL US THE FACTS OF LIFE

Mary Anne: No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
Keesha: When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
Ryan: If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Michael: Never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
Allison: You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
Cody: Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Sylvia: Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
Jonathan: You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Allison: Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
Steve: The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.

April 6, 2018April 6, 2018

Funny Friday: Doc, I’m Dying

So, I came across this awesome site, Boredpanda.com, that shares real, but funny Emergency room stories, told by doctors.

For today’s Funny Friday, I would like to share a hilarious story that I read. Please enjoy and have a blessed Friday.

An older lady was brought into the ED barely conscious by her husband. In a very thick Italian accent she told the doctor she was dying. She had complained of feeling tingly and having a dry mouth prior to passing out.
The doctor sat the husband down and they did a history. No serious medical problems and she was very fit. In fact she spent the morning cleaning her sons bar, as she often did on a Sunday morning.
Considering her age they took these symptoms very seriously and begun running tests to find the source of her ailments.
The son came in to visit his mother, and on the way he bypassed his bar. He noticed that his mother had helped herself to some of the ‘treats’ prepared the night before.
The son, the apple of his parents eye, had to then explain to his father and the doctor that the treats she had enjoyed were space cakes. And apparently she really enjoyed them as she ate quite a few.
They then had to sit down and tell this elderly lady that she was not dying, and that she was in fact stoned!
Fortunately she was still high enough to see the humour.

😉

Image borrowed from media.giphy.com

March 16, 2018April 4, 2018

Funny Friday: Speeding Motorist

Happy Friday, Friends! 😁 I hope your day is going beautifully. May God continue to bless each and every one of you. Please enjoy today’s, Funny Friday and stay blessed!

Speeding Motorist

Late one night this guy is speeding down the empty road. A cop sees him go flying past so chases him and pulls him over. The cop goes up to the car and when the man rolls down the window, he asks, “Are you aware of how fast you were going, sir?”

The man replies, “Yes I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”

The cop looks at him disbelievingly and asks him, “Were you the one being robbed, sir?”

The man casually replies, “Oh no, I was the one who committed the robbery. I was escaping.”

The cop is shocked and surprised that the man has admitted this so freely. He says, “So you’re telling me you were speeding…AND committed a robbery?”

“Oh yes,” replies the man calmly. “I have all the loot in the back.”

The cop is now starting to get angry and says, “Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me” as he reaches into the window to take the car keys out of the ignition.

The man shouts, “Don’t do that! I’m afraid that you’ll find the gun in my glove compartment!” At this the cop pulls his hand out of the window and says, “Wait here” as he returns to his car and calls for backup.

Soon there are cars, cops and helicopters all over, everywhere you look. The man is quickly dragged out of his car, handcuffed and taken towards a cop car. However, just before he is put in the car and taken away a cop walks up to him and says, while pointing at the cop that pulled him over, “Sir, this officer tells us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we didn’t find any of these things in your car.”

The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!”

Funny story borrowed from Laffgaff.com

March 9, 2018April 11, 2018

Funny Friday

Hello Friends,

So, approximately 3 weeks ago, we added another member to our family. I would like to introduce you to Khaleesi Diva Smeed aka Harry. My husband wanted to name her Khaleesi since we are huge Game of Thrones fans. My daughter noticed that she has a bit of a diva attitude and Christian thinks she is pretty hairy, so we call her Harry. Oh, and Smeed is a combination of my husband, Christian and I last name with Hannah and Rj’s last name. Leesi is around 10 months old and she was rescued from an abusive home. It took her about a week to warm up, but once she did, we found out that she is just as crazy as we are. Needless to say, she fits in really well.

In celebration of Leesi aka Harry arrival and rescue, I would like to share a funny cat video that my daughter, Hannah, thought was hilarious. Hopefully, you guys will find it funny as well.

Please enjoy the start of your weekend. Remember, you are awesome and I pray for nothing but true happiness and peace for each and every one of you. God Bless!

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. -Mark Twain

February 9, 2018April 4, 2018

Funny Friday’s

Good day all!

This has been a trying week, but I refuse to be defeated. This joke is dedicated to everyone who has had a rough week, but is still kicking butt and taking names👊🏽👊🏽Keep smiling through the chaos🤪 😁 Don’t give up ☝🏽& tell a stranger you love them today ❤️

“Tricky Jar”

An 85-year-old man goes to see his doctor for his regular physical exam. The doctor says that the man needs to provide a semen sample and gives him a jar saying, “Take this jar home with you and come back tomorrow with a semen sample.”

The next day the old man goes back to the doctors and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as when the doctor gave it to him. So the doctor asks what happened and why there is no sperm sample in the jar. The old man says, “Well, doc, it’s like this… first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand – nothing; then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Maisie, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.”

The doctor is really shocked by all this and asks incredulously, “You asked your neighbor???”

The old man replies, “Yep, not one of us could get the jar open.”

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” -Charlie Chaplin

Joke borrowed from LaffGaff.com

February 2, 2018April 4, 2018

A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love.

The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, “I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?”

The frog asks for the good news first.

The fortune teller says, “You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you and will want to know all about you. She will want you to open up for her and you will give her your heart.”

“That’s great!” says the frog. “But what’s the bad news?”

“Well, you’re going to meet her in Biology class.”

Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend!

Story borrowed from SunnySkyz.com

January 26, 2018April 4, 2018

Funny Friday

A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” “That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

I hope everyone is having a wonderful start to their weekend.

You are smart. You are special. You are beautifully made.

January 19, 2018April 4, 2018

Funny Fridays

Good day readers

Each Friday, I would like to share with you a funny joke, story, or something I just find super hilarious and I hope you find it hilarious as well. This is another goal that I’m adding to my list. Please check out my previous blog post, Blogging With Depression about how if you’re struggling with an illness or depression/anxiety, how you should take it slow especially when adding goals. Right now I feel pretty good about accomplishing the goals that I have set thus far, so I have decided to add another one. Dedicating one day to one specific kind of content is definitely a goal that I want to accomplish. So let’s see how this goes.

“Helicopter Ride”

Walter took his wife Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he would say to her, “Ethel, you know that I’d love to go for a ride in that helicopter.” But Ethel would always reply, “I know that Walter, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”

Finally, they went to the fair, and Walter said to Ethel, “Ethel, you know I’m 87 years old now. If I don’t ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance.” Once again Ethel replied, “Walter, you know that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”

This time the helicopter pilot overheard the couple’s conversation and said, “Listen, folks, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll take both of you for a ride; if you can both stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won’t charge you! But if you say just one word, it’s 50 dollars.”

Walter and Ethel agreed and up they went in the helicopter. The pilot performed all kinds of fancy moves and tricks, but not a word was said by either Walter or Ethel. The pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still, there wasn’t so much as one word said. When they finally landed, the pilot turned to Walter and said, “Wow! I’ve got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn’t. I’m really impressed!”

Walter replied, “Well, to be honest, I almost said something when Ethel fell out but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!”

I borrowed this wonderful story from LaffGaff.com

“Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.” -Rashida Jones