I was on Facebook the other day, and I saw this picture of this young lady. In the picture, she was standing alongside her five beautiful children. I am not sure of their ages, but the oldest child looked around 6/7 years old, and the youngest child was 6 months old. Above the picture, the caption read, “When you[r] 22 with 5 kids, one is 6 months and the other one disabled.” The caption was suppose to boast about how well she is doing with 5 children when she is only 22 years old. I will admit, the kids are super cute and based off of the picture, it seems that they are well taken care of.
She immediately began to get thousands of comments. Some good, some bad. There were people who felt outraged by the picture, stating that she’s “a hoe” for having so many kids at such a young age. Others praised her for keeping her children clean and well put together in the photo. Others were just being a bag of butts, commenting hateful words about her disabled son.
I wanted to share my thoughts, but its Facebook. Who pay attention to anything someone has to say, that may be insightful, on facebook? So, I would like to share my opinion with you guys.
When I was 20 years old, I became pregnant with my first child. I was more excited than fearful. I knew everything that I did NOT want to do with my child. I had it all mapped out; her father and I would get married, we would have great jobs, buy a house with a white picket fence, and live happily ever after. Well, it didn’t exactly go like that. There were so many people who tried to tell me, in a nice way, that I wasnt ready for a baby, and that I really didn’t know what I was doing. At 20, I was pretty mature for my age, but looking back at it, I wasnt mature enough. I thought I knew what I was doing. I would get offended when people would say, you’re to young to have a baby.
There are so many things that I didn’t think about then, that I think about all of the time now. The problem with having a baby at a young age, is that, at 20 years old, no matter how mature I was, there were life lessons that I hadnt experienced yet, that would come in handy when raising kids, and that I would learn until later on in life. I would get offended when people would say, you’re to young to have a baby.
It’s common sense that children are expensive. But geez! I never thought about the expenses of braces, specialty care for disabled/sickly children, school clothes and supplied, activities, etc. I definitely didn’t think about the fact that something may happen to me, to where I am unable to care for them like a mother should take care of her children. I also didnt think about when I need to get away, I can’t just walk away. I cant leave or take a vacation. I have to be here with them, especially when all 3 kids are calling my name, back to back to back to back, without taking a breath. I have to be here.
When I think about parenting, I think about the things that our children need and deserve to become productive citizen of society. Yes, they are my children, and I love them unconditionally. But one day, they will be someones wife or husband. They will be parents, co-workers, friends, etc. So, I have to raise them the right way, the proper way. And when you’re young, you really don’t know the proper way yet. You’re still trying to find yourself; your likes and dislikes, your career choice, your temper, and how you deal with certain social situations. Otherwise, you’ll just end up teaching them childish ways, because you haven’t matured enough yet.
I love my kids, but I do wish I would have waited to have them. I think that if I had the knowledge then, that I have now, I would have done things so much differently. Now, I’m 31 years old with 3 little people who I am responsible for and to be quite frank, I still have no idea what I’m doing. But at least now, I am mature enough to admit that.
So, my opinion, even though her children are well taken care of, and she may be a great parent, will her lack of life experience and juvenile ideas of the world allow her to raise productive members of society? I have no idea. I guess we will find out in a few short years.
Healing with Harotian 